How do you prepare for the debates?
Full pack of smokes: ✔
Adderall (Don’t judge, legally prescribed): ✔
Something caffeinated and non-alcoholic (I am not embarrassing myself, MUST TWEET SOBER): ✔
Throwable shit not in vicinity: ✔
December 2011
Can I just point out that your country has been doing this TO EVERY OTHER FUCKING COUNTRY IN THE WORLD SINCE FOREVER? But you guys only give a shit now it might affect yourselves. God, you can be so fucking selfish.
I’ve given a shit for quite awhile. However, yes, you’re right - the only way several of my fellow Americans give a fuck is when it could knock on their doors.
Live-tweeting tonight's Fox News Debate!
Here’s the old bingo cards if you wanna play: Family Values or Domestic Security/Foreign Policy.
This is the last one before the caucus. This is the one where they try to out-batshit each other!
My predictions
Economic Policy & Taxation can be summed up simply:
Moderator Tries to Get Someone to Support Same-Sex Marriage:
Meanwhile, all other candidates:
Someone will awkwardly ask Romney about Mormonism and this is how the question will come off:
You see Rick Perry doing this internally when Romney answers:
Ron Paul is slammed for being nutty by another candidate and he gives no shits. Seriously:
Michele Bachmann is gonna get excited about something and unleash the fury:
And I’m gonna sit there like this:
This:
And this:
Expect this:
The Newt Gingrich breaks my brain of the day
Newt Gingrich, on the heels of his personal fidelity pledge to a family values group in Iowa, decided to take on the issue of homosexuality. The results were predictably infuriating:
Calling himself a “traditional, classic conservative,” Gingrich said he believed marriage should be between a man and a woman and insisted he would not have repealed the controversial “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy in the military.
But the former House speaker was careful to draw the distinction that he believes homosexuality is both genetic and a lifestyle, stopping short of agreeing with some who believe it is entirely a choice.
Oh, okay, so at least he’s not 100% “it’s a choice” bandwagon - nothing like infidelity, amirite?! But really, here’s the best part:
He also pointedly noted an acceptance of homosexuality, saying he doesn’t believe people should be mistreated based on their personal lives. “I’m against discrimination of people based on their private behavior,” Gingrich said.
No, I don’t think gay people should be discriminated against, I just don’t think they should serve openly in our military and get married because reasons that aren’t hateful! </sarcasm>
Are you freaking kidding me? Really? He made these comments within moments of each other in the SAME INTERVIEW! How do you not understand the inherent contradiction?!
If someone made the same claim about Catholics, he’d flip his shit. At least religion is more of a choice than homosexuality.
Guess what? You didn’t wake up one morning and choose to be straight, Newt. However, you did wake up next to Wife #2 on several mornings, put on your tie and your serious face, lambasted Bill Clinton for cheating on his wife, then gave Callista (now Wife #3) the old in-and-out before returning home to soon-to-be-ex-Wife #2. THAT was a choice, not your heterosexuality.
NDAA Set To Become Law: The Terror Is Nearer Than Ever →
businessinsider.com
It turns out that destroying the American democratic republic was easy to accomplish, historians will write someday. Simply get the three major cable news networks to blather on about useless bull**** for a few days, while legislators meet in secret behind closed doors to rush through the National Defense Authorization Act of 2012 (NDAA), and its evil twin sister, the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), which is a clever name for an Internet censorship bill straight out of an Orwellian nightmare.
Sure, some independent media web sites and Jon Stewart warned us about this. Ron Paul & Son warned us about this. Amnesty International and the ACLU have been screaming from the rooftops, crying bloody murder. But the American people let it happen, because the vast majority of us simply didn’t find out in time.
And now President Obama’s advisers are saying he is withdrawing his veto threat against NDAA, so it will become law.
True story. I commend Rep. Cynthia Lummis, R-Wyo., for voting against this. Her statement on the bill:
Although the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) contains important provisions for national defense, after careful review of the legislation, I believe that the language in the bill muddies the water concerning the due process rights granted to American citizens by the Constitution. Granting authority to indefinitely detain American citizens suspected of terrorism without charge and without sufficiently addressing what rights an American citizen has if they are suspected of terrorism and arrested on U.S. soil, sets a troubling precedent.
This bill is horrifying. For those who are saying, “Meh, big deal, we detain people already…” - yeah, we have, and that’s wrong. NDAA is much worse. It is authorizing detention of American citizens without due process if they’re suspected of terrorism, and that detention will occur on American soil. This is further encroaching our rights and turning the military against the American people.
NDAA is the PATRIOT Act on steroids.
US ends nearly nine years of occupation in Iraq with official transfer of power →
guardian.co.uk
From the Guardian UK:
“And that’s it. 8 years & 9 months. $750 billion, 100k + civ deaths. 4,500 US KIA, 179 Brits. War over #Iraq”, tweets Martin Chulov in Baghdad.
Here are his updates on the rest of the ceremony:
#US Gen Austin cites ‘especially poignant moment’. He gave an order to invade in 03 & today the order to case the colours’ #Iraq
At US departure ceremony Panetta pledges enduring and robust US Mil presence across Middle East #Iraq
“You came to this land between the rivers, again, again & again,” Panetta says of the 1.5 million US troops who served here in #Iraq.
US Defence Sec Leon Panetta speaks of ‘profound honour’ to close down #Iraq war. Cites Lincoln at Gettysburg.
US Commanding Gen Lloyd Austin now folding flag of USFI in #Iraq
And that’s it.
I have my doubts. Over two years ago, I wrote a feature entitled “Me and Mr. Cheney: A history” when the University of Wyoming dedicated the Cheney International Center. I got so close to Cheney I heard him laugh. I also noted his perspective on the Middle East in 1991. An excerpt:
PBS’ Frontline oral history website devoted a section to the former vice president called “Cheney In His Own Words.” In 1991, Cheney gave his perspective on U.S. involvement in the Persian Gulf: “We’re always going to have to be involved [in the Middle East]. Maybe it’s part of our national character, you know we like to have these problems nice and neatly wrapped up, put a ribbon around it. You deploy a force, you win the war and the problem goes away and it doesn’t work that way in the Middle East – it never has and isn’t likely to in my lifetime.”
Even then, Cheney knew. He knew this would never end – only go quiet for a period.
I hope I’m wrong about the war never ending.
“In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.” - José Narosky
So it goes.
BREAKING: White House will NOT veto National Defense Authorization Act
White House issues statement saying it will not veto defense bill - @AP
— Breaking News (@BreakingNews)
Disturbing news, as this is the bill which would allow for indefinite detention. More details here.
Im telling you lets all move to new zealand.
Did I just make a Scumbag Obama to express my outrage? Fuck yes, I did.
“Every few months, one of these controversies erupts: some writer or official stands publicly accused of being insufficiently supportive of Israel; all kinds of innuendo about motives is smeared over the person; and demands are made that they be repudiated, fired or denied a position. No matter the outcome of the specific controversy, the effect is to re-bolster orthodoxies on Israel, fortify the restrictions on debate, and to send a warning to future would-be heretics about the cost of such behavior. It would be sweet justice indeed (as well as beneficial) if in this case the smear artist, rather than his targets, is the one who suffers consequences. But one should not doubt that the intended effect has been nonetheless achieved.”
—
Glenn Greenwald, Exploiting the Anti-Semitism Smear Now Backfiring
People are now trying to turn the anti-Semitism smear on Thomas Friedman. What a world we live in.
(via fearandwar)
I’m called an anti-Semite all the time just for criticizing Israel. People get really confused when I tell them I come from a Middle Eastern Jewish family with relatives butchered by Hitler. My first and middle names are Hebrew for a reason and even though I’m an Atheist, all those menorahs in my apartment aren’t for decoration.
Glenn touches on some really important points. I just wish someone would talk about how many of Israel’s supporters are actually racist anti-Semites.
(via mohandasgandhi)
I’m culturally Jewish, atheist, and anti-Zionist as well. But I have to say that the word “anti-Semitism” is odd because “Semite” means anyone from the Middle East. It’s as if early Zionists invented the word thinking that they owned the whole Middle East.
(via sanityscraps)
All of this. If I criticize Israel at all, I get the same. It’s ridiculous.
Chipped in a bit. Hope I could help some.
Yes! Every little bit helps, even a dollar :) That’s a dollar more than we had before, and a dollar closer to caught up.
Signal boostin’.
Good luck- I hope your situation improves soon!
Wish i could help, but im in a similar situation :(
I pitched in a little, hope it helps… try and have a happy holidays :D
I wish you the best of luck and a happy christmas! I would donate if I could but I’m just as broke :(
donated a little $$ hope it helps.
Thank you to everyone who’s donated thus far, and trust me, I understand how hard it is for those who are in a similar situation. We’re about halfway there through your help. All of you who’ve reblogged, shared, donated, given kind words, etc. are renewing my faith in humanity, not even kidding. Thank you and happy holidays to everyone.
WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? I CAN’T EVEN MAKE ANY OTHER SENTENCE RIGHT NOW. I’M LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD. WHAT IS THIS? WHAT WAS THE PREMISE OF THIS ASK? SERIOUSLY?
I have no clue what inspired this, and that makes it even more awesome. I vow to use “overlordship” in a paper before I die, and the last sentence might be the best signoff in the history of the written word.
what if Orwell was working for the government and he wrote 1984 as an instruction manual and textbook to get us used to government overlordship? what if running for president is actually a casting call and only certain people picked by Masons or another secrt organization get the memo? And what if were a hologram on a jesus figure's ipad or something and then one day s/he forgets to stick the charger on and it dies? MOTHERFUCKING APOCOLYPSE! Goodnight and hopefully iJesus remembers to charge us.
Uh what?
Not judging, just sayin’
And thank you for the weirdest and most entertaining anon possibly in the history of ever in the Cognitive Dissonance universe. You win the Conspiracy Kenau award for today.
super troll?
Rick Perry = super meta troll.
What if Rick Perry = Andy Kaufman?
Donald Trump withdraws as debate moderator. Did he just fire himself? →
csmonitor.com
What happens when you throw your own birthday party and no one comes:
Donald Trump on Tuesday said he would not moderate a Republican presidential debate planned for later this month in Iowa. So we’re not going to have the delicious spectacle of the Donald asking which of the candidates on stage most agrees with him.
The problem, said Mr. Trump in a statement, was that the GOP establishment is terrified that he himself might run for the White House as an independent. They want him to pledge he won’t, and he refuses to do so, so he’s withdrawing as moderator of the proposed Dec. 27 Newsmax debate.
“I must leave all of my options open because, above all else, we must make America great again! … It is very important to me that the right Republican candidate be chosen to defeat the failed and very destructive Obama Administration, but if that Republican, in my opinion, is not the right candidate, I am not willing to give up my right to run as an Independent candidate,” said Trump in a statement. But isn’t this spin? Didn’t Donald Trump just fire himself?
…
The Trump debate was already a flop. Only Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum had agreed to attend. Plus, GOP all-around smart guy Karl Rove was publicly begging candidates not to go, saying that a Trump-led circus was not going to help the party oust President Obama.
So in general, the debate was drawing a bad GOP vibe. And Trump, the brand, cannot be associated with bad-vibe flops. So Trump, the person, needed to find a way to get out of the corner he had talked his way into. He had to find a way to withdraw without saying he was doing so because there wasn’t going to be much of a debate anyway.
Voila! He’d continue to pretend that he really is thinking about actually running! After all, Trump in interviews is continually asked about a possible independent run. He always holds it out as a vague possibility.
Why? Because if he says he won’t run, then news folks will stop asking him about it, and for Trump that would be no fun at all. Thus today’s self-firing statement.
And who does [Trump’s decision] hurt? Journalists. Do you have any idea how much the fourth estate was looking forward to Trump acting like a Wolf Blitzer-wannabe? Quite a bit. Trust us.
But… but…
I am very disappointed in The Donald. He made Christmas come for us politicos and then he took it away. I even had a spot on my bingo card which read: “That shit on Trump’s head goes all ‘I quit this bitch’ in the middle of the debate and walks off.”
Much love, lady, and more love for what you do. Donation coming Friday. I hope things get better for you two!
I’m wicked grateful for whatever help anyone can provide, and thank you for yours in advance! I also thank those who’ve already donated!
I know it’s been a tough year for nearly everyone. I enjoy running this site, and the feedback I get from readers. You all are a fabulous and compassionate bunch. I think about my followers and I’m like:
So thanks again to everyone :)
No joke, they were following me earlier, but then I made some posts about Ayn Rand bashing libertarianism and they were outtie. It was hilarious.
For some reason, they’ve stuck around since they started following me weeks ago. I think we’ve reached Kardashian longevity now, so that’s super.
The 40 Best Protest Signs Of 2011 →
buzzfeed.com
From Egypt to Occupy Wall Street, SlutWalks to Madison, Wisc. It’s a marvelous list.
