Mark Driscoll, “Pastor” of the Mars Hill Church in Seattle, claiming men need to stop masturbating because it’s a kind of homosexuality. Driscoll also authored a booklet entitled Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God’s Men.
This is what immediately came to mind:
Yes, that’s James Franco making out with himself. Oh, and this:
In order to clear up any confusion for Driscoll, here’s the Merriam-Webster definition of homosexual:
Definition of HOMOSEXUAL
1: of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex
2: of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between persons of the same sex
Nothing in there regarding sex with yourself, I promise. Oddly enough, he says nothing about women, lesbianism, female masturbation, etc. I just don’t know what to say about this - it’s so ridiculous.
DON’T TOUCH YERSELF, BOYS! IT’S GONNA MAKE YOU A HOMOSEXUAL!
Yeah, okay. Oh, and “Pastor” is in quotations marks because reason, dude. You’ve got none.