Posts tagged Barack Obama
Posts tagged Barack Obama
Sorry, guys. I ran out of booze and patience by the time we got to Sen. Rand Paul. BUT I did liveblog the responses from Sen. Mike Lee and Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers, plus the State of the Union itself. Take a peek and feel enlightened.
Matt Bors hits it out of the park with his new piece, “Hey, Everyone Involved In This Syria Shit Show, You’re Terrible”. An excerpt:
Free Syrian Army — Saw you dudes on the front page of The New York Times last week lining up a bunch of shirtless, whip-marked prisoners for execution. Nice! Bet they were shitheads. Seemed a liiiiiittle sketch though. Had me thinking: You’re not gonna, like, massacre everyone in Damascus once you take it over, right? You’re going to have elections when this is over? Set up some public schools, run for county treasurer?
Because I’m starting to think the leftover weapons we gave you won’t be melted down to build swing sets.
Al Qaeda & Friends — Hi! You’re banning croissants and shit. That’s just trolling.
Y’all just rush your woman-hating asses into every shitstorm to make it worse, don’t you? Places liberated from Assad are supposed to be rolling out Jeffersonian Democracy and here you are setting up Sharia courts and chopping off hands for purse snatching. You get the memo on “international norms”? Because your 12th century assholery makes gassing people look futuristic.
John Kerry — A young man once asked, “”How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?” He was you! So maybe stop asking people to die for yet another war that is bound to be a mistake. Oh, it’s not going to be a big deal, you say, just a couple of explosions here and there. No boots touching no ground. You know which conflict started out like that? THE VIETNAM ONE. Now you’re dragging your droopy face around, casting anyone who opposes this garbage idea as some pro-Iran Jew hater and comparing Assad to Hitler. You think you’re in the comments section of the internet, bro? Because this is not how you make arguments.
Oh, and look, there’s a photo from 2009 of you dining with the New Hitler. Yeah, have a seat, Donald Rumsfeld.
Barack Obama — Remember when you said “red line” out loud a year ago? Fortunately, [it] wasn’t a magic incantation that compels us to go to war. You can actually just not do this. You see Micronesia eager to bomb Syria? You see Chile ready to launch missiles on a country its citizens know nothing about? Okay, the main reason for that is they don’t spend a fuktrillion dollars a year on their military. But the other, closely related cousin of that reason, is they don’t see themselves as the Judge Dredd of Earth with a need to pepper the entire planet with military bases.
We’ve invaded, bombed, and/or occupied dozens of countries in just the last few decades all in the name of increasing our “national security interests.” Haiti, The Philippines, Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan; none of them really turned out super great. America’s done enough wonders for the world, buddy. Let’s sit this one out.
Read the rest here.
Illinois Sen. Barack Obama (D), Oct. 2, 2002
Remember this, Mr. President?
Political cartoonist Matt Bors, commenting on The New York Times' editorial, “Bomb Syria, Even if It Is Illegal”. For peace’s sake, let’s unleash bombs. It’s only moral.
"This isn’t a movie and we aren’t the saviors."
This is echoing the pre-war drumbeats of military interventions both past and present. If that doesn’t scare the hell out of you, this should.
President Barack Obama, State of the Union Address, Feb. 12th, 2013.
If you didn’t choke up even a bit, you have no soul.
And I’m covering this sliding scale of batshit completely sober.
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Click the link above to view/follow me on Twitter. What’s your prediction for tonight? And should I live-blog Sen. Rand Paul’s Tea Party response? I think yes.
From “Hitler took guns!” to “Hitler surrounded himself with kids!” to “OBAMA IS A NAZI BUT CONSTITUTION I LOVES MY GUN!” to “IMPEACH THE FÜHRER!” that’s got to be a record for going all Godwin.
The comments about Secret Service are just precious. It’s like Obama is the first president in the history of ever to use a Secret Service detail for himself and his family. That doesn’t make him a hypocrite. Newsflash: Ronald Reagan used Secret Service AND supported gun control. Chew on that for little bit. Bet it tastes like your own foot and hypocrisy.
For fuck’s sake, y’all. You can still own a gun. No one is taking that away. What we’re looking at now is maybe you don’t need a military-grade, semi-automatic assault rifle with a high capacity magazine for home defense and deer slaying.
And by the way, if you can’t get a deer in a few shots, it deserves to get away.
Chill. The. Fuck. Out.
From the White House’s official response to the “Death Star by 2016” petition.
They may not support blowing up planets, but the Obama Administration has little issue with leveling an entire village in Yemen with flying murder robots piloted from a booth in Nevada just to kill one suspected terrorist who’s “likely” there.
The civilians are just an oopsie who shouldn’t have gotten in the way of the Hellfire missiles, y’know? So unfortunate. /sarcasm
So there’s that.
First off, this is not The Onion. Seriously.
Basically, a year ago today, the White House denied Obama was teleported to Mars. AND WE’VE HEARD NOTHING SINCE! So where’s the proof he didn’t? Hmmmm? Isn’t it weird that he has no proof he didn’t?
But what else do you expect from the LAMESTREAM MEDIA? C’mon birthers, he’s about to be inaugurated again. Get on it.
*Statement is null and void if our hatred of Obama overrides our belief in “doing the right thing” because reasons.
FIXED THAT FOR YOU.
Mesa resident Holly Solomon thinks it’s her husband’s fault that President Obama was re-elected last week, because he didn’t vote. Not only does Solomon, 28, have a thorough misunderstanding of our nation’s electoral system, she also ran over her husband with her car because of this, according to Gilbert police.
In an e-mail to media, Gilbert police Sergeant Jesse Sanger says the argument started in a parking lot Saturday morning over Daniel Solomon’s lack of voter participation. “According to Daniel, Holly believed her family was going to face hardship as a result of President Obama’s re-election,” Sanger says.
Witnesses told police that there was a lot of yelling before Holly Solomon hopped in her Jeep, and started chasing her husband around the parking lot.
Her husband tried to use a light pole to shield himself, and Solomon drove around the light pole several times as she continued to yell at him. Eventually, her husband made a run for it, but Solomon hit him, pinning him under the car and on a curb, according to police.
Daniel Solomon’s currently in critical condition at a hospital. Holly Solomon was booked into jail on charges of domestic violence and aggravated assault, and there are no indications she was impaired by alcohol or drugs at the time, according to Sanger.
At the risk of sounding like a cold cynic, voter outreach: you’re doing it very, very wrong.
But in all seriousness, I wish I were shocked this happened. But after the insane demonization of Barack Obama by right-wingers, I’m more shocked something like this didn’t happen sooner. In a strange way, it’s sad that she was so convinced her family was going to face hardship that she had such an extreme reaction to her husband not voting to stop it — not that his vote would have prevented Obama’s re-election or ensured Arizona’s electoral votes went to Romney, which they already did. And she did this, according to police, stone-cold sober.
Holy hell. I feel like there’s more to this story.
Twitter is flat-out killing me right now… neo-cons are having a goddamn meltdown.
They don’t seem to get that Obama’s foreign policy is actually uncomfortably close to their own. It’s up to us to keep the pressure on regarding drone strikes, kill lists, civil rights, and the PATRIOT ACT.
Fuck “Who is John Galt?” BS. Who is Bradley Manning, President Obama?
CBS reporting 274 electoral votes for Barack Obama and 203 for Mitt Romney.
From the front page of the Drudge Report, 7:39 PM MST
I assure you, Matt Drudge, President Obama did not win Wyoming. I promise.