Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged Barack Obama

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Matt Bors hits it out of the park with his new piece, “Hey, Everyone Involved In This Syria Shit Show, You’re Terrible”. An excerpt:

Free Syrian Army — Saw you dudes on the front page of The New York Times last week lining up a bunch of shirtless, whip-marked prisoners for execution. Nice! Bet they were shitheads. Seemed a liiiiiittle sketch though. Had me thinking: You’re not gonna, like, massacre everyone in Damascus once you take it over, right? You’re going to have elections when this is over? Set up some public schools, run for county treasurer?
Because I’m starting to think the leftover weapons we gave you won’t be melted down to build swing sets.
Al Qaeda & Friends — Hi! You’re banning croissants and shit. That’s just trolling.
Y’all just rush your woman-hating asses into every shitstorm to make it worse, don’t you? Places liberated from Assad are supposed to be rolling out Jeffersonian Democracy and here you are setting up Sharia courts and chopping off hands for purse snatching. You get the memo on “international norms”? Because your 12th century assholery makes gassing people look futuristic.
John Kerry — A young man once asked, “”How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?” He was you! So maybe stop asking people to die for yet another war that is bound to be a mistake. Oh, it’s not going to be a big deal, you say, just a couple of explosions here and there. No boots touching no ground. You know which conflict started out like that? THE VIETNAM ONE. Now you’re dragging your droopy face around, casting anyone who opposes this garbage idea as some pro-Iran Jew hater and comparing Assad to Hitler. You think you’re in the comments section of the internet, bro? Because this is not how you make arguments.
Oh, and look, there’s a photo from 2009 of you dining with the New Hitler. Yeah, have a seat, Donald Rumsfeld.
Barack Obama — Remember when you said “red line” out loud a year ago? Fortunately, [it] wasn’t a magic incantation that compels us to go to war. You can actually just not do this. You see Micronesia eager to bomb Syria? You see Chile ready to launch missiles on a country its citizens know nothing about? Okay, the main reason for that is they don’t spend a fuktrillion dollars a year on their military. But the other, closely related cousin of that reason, is they don’t see themselves as the Judge Dredd of Earth with a need to pepper the entire planet with military bases.
We’ve invaded, bombed, and/or occupied dozens of countries in just the last few decades all in the name of increasing our “national security interests.” Haiti, The Philippines, Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan; none of them really turned out super great. America’s done enough wonders for the world, buddy. Let’s sit this one out.

Read the rest here.

Matt Bors hits it out of the park with his new piece, “Hey, Everyone Involved In This Syria Shit Show, You’re Terrible”. An excerpt:

Free Syrian Army — Saw you dudes on the front page of The New York Times last week lining up a bunch of shirtless, whip-marked prisoners for execution. Nice! Bet they were shitheads. Seemed a liiiiiittle sketch though. Had me thinking: You’re not gonna, like, massacre everyone in Damascus once you take it over, right? You’re going to have elections when this is over? Set up some public schools, run for county treasurer?

Because I’m starting to think the leftover weapons we gave you won’t be melted down to build swing sets.

Al Qaeda & Friends — Hi! You’re banning croissants and shit. That’s just trolling.

Y’all just rush your woman-hating asses into every shitstorm to make it worse, don’t you? Places liberated from Assad are supposed to be rolling out Jeffersonian Democracy and here you are setting up Sharia courts and chopping off hands for purse snatching. You get the memo on “international norms”? Because your 12th century assholery makes gassing people look futuristic.

John Kerry — A young man once asked, “”How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?” He was you! So maybe stop asking people to die for yet another war that is bound to be a mistake. Oh, it’s not going to be a big deal, you say, just a couple of explosions here and there. No boots touching no ground. You know which conflict started out like that? THE VIETNAM ONE. Now you’re dragging your droopy face around, casting anyone who opposes this garbage idea as some pro-Iran Jew hater and comparing Assad to Hitler. You think you’re in the comments section of the internet, bro? Because this is not how you make arguments.

Oh, and look, there’s a photo from 2009 of you dining with the New Hitler. Yeah, have a seat, Donald Rumsfeld.

Barack Obama — Remember when you said “red line” out loud a year ago? Fortunately, [it] wasn’t a magic incantation that compels us to go to war. You can actually just not do this. You see Micronesia eager to bomb Syria? You see Chile ready to launch missiles on a country its citizens know nothing about? Okay, the main reason for that is they don’t spend a fuktrillion dollars a year on their military. But the other, closely related cousin of that reason, is they don’t see themselves as the Judge Dredd of Earth with a need to pepper the entire planet with military bases.

We’ve invaded, bombed, and/or occupied dozens of countries in just the last few decades all in the name of increasing our “national security interests.” Haiti, The Philippines, Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan; none of them really turned out super great. America’s done enough wonders for the world, buddy. Let’s sit this one out.

Read the rest here.

Filed under Matt Bors Politics Syria News Everyone in this is terrible Barack Obama John Kerry Bashar Al-Assad United Nations Republicans Democrats John McCain

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What I am opposed to is a dumb war. What I am opposed to is a rash war. What I am opposed to is the cynical attempt by Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz and other armchair, weekend warriors in this administration to shove their own ideological agendas down our throats, irrespective of the costs in lives lost and in hardships borne.

What I am opposed to is the attempt by political hacks like Karl Rove to distract us from a rise in the uninsured, a rise in the poverty rate, a drop in the median income — to distract us from corporate scandals and a stock market that has just gone through the worst month since the Great Depression. That’s what I’m opposed to. A dumb war. A rash war. A war based not on reason but on passion, not on principle but on politics. Now let me be clear — I suffer no illusions about Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal man. A ruthless man. A man who butchers his own people to secure his own power. He has repeatedly defied UN resolutions, thwarted UN inspection teams, developed chemical and biological weapons, and coveted nuclear capacity. He’s a bad guy. The world, and the Iraqi people, would be better off without him.

But I also know that Saddam poses no imminent and direct threat to the United States or to his neighbors, that the Iraqi economy is in shambles, that the Iraqi military a fraction of its former strength, and that in concert with the international community he can be contained until, in the way of all petty dictators, he falls away into the dustbin of history.

I know that even a successful war against Iraq will require a U.S. occupation of undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences. I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al-Qaeda. I am not opposed to all wars. I’m opposed to dumb wars.

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama (D), Oct. 2, 2002

Remember this, Mr. President?

Filed under war Barack Obama politics second verse same as the first Syria no war in Syria Iraq flashbackfriday

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With approval for entering another war at nine percent, the NY Times publishes an op-ed titled “Bomb Syria, Even if It Is Illegal” featuring a jaw-dropping call for Obama to literally dictate law as it suits him.

‘Obama and allied leaders should declare that international law has evolved and that they don’t need Security Council approval to intervene in Syria. This would be popular in many quarters, and I believe it’s the right thing to do.’

You certainly won’t find these same people making a moral case for lawbreaking when it comes to Snowden and Manning alerting us to government abuse, only in justifying it. These were the same arguments we heard for torture and indefinite detention, for drone strikes on U.S. citizens.

What’s happening in Syria is truly horrible. But there’s no reason to believe our involvement will mean less people will die. This isn’t a movie and we aren’t the saviors.

Political cartoonist Matt Bors, commenting on The New York Times' editorial, “Bomb Syria, Even if It Is Illegal”. For peace’s sake, let’s unleash bombs. It’s only moral.

"This isn’t a movie and we aren’t the saviors."

This is echoing the pre-war drumbeats of military interventions both past and present. If that doesn’t scare the hell out of you, this should.

Filed under Syria News war politics Matt Bors The New York Times NYT Barack Obama illegal bombing imperialism intervention interventionism

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One of those we lost was a young girl named Hadiya Pendleton. She was 15 years old. She loved Fig Newtons and lip gloss. She was a majorette. She was so good to her friends, they all thought they were her best friend. Just three weeks ago, she was here, in Washington, with her classmates, performing for her country at my inauguration. And a week later, she was shot and killed in a Chicago park after school, just a mile away from my house.

Hadiya’s parents, Nate and Cleo, are in this chamber tonight, along with more than two dozen Americans whose lives have been torn apart by gun violence. They deserve a vote.

Gabby Giffords deserves a vote.

The families of Newtown deserve a vote.

The families of Aurora deserve a vote.

The families of Oak Creek, and Tucson, and Blacksburg, and the countless other communities ripped open by gun violence – they deserve a simple vote.

Our actions will not prevent every senseless act of violence in this country. Indeed, no laws, no initiatives, no administrative acts will perfectly solve all the challenges I’ve outlined tonight. But we were never sent here to be perfect. We were sent here to make what difference we can, to secure this nation, expand opportunity, and uphold our ideals through the hard, often frustrating, but absolutely necessary work of self-government.

We were sent here to look out for our fellow Americans the same way they look out for one another, every single day, usually without fanfare, all across this country. We should follow their example.

We should follow the example of a New York City nurse named Menchu Sanchez. When Hurricane Sandy plunged her hospital into darkness, her thoughts were not with how her own home was faring – they were with the twenty precious newborns in her care and the rescue plan she devised that kept them all safe.

We should follow the example of a North Miami woman named Desiline Victor. When she arrived at her polling place, she was told the wait to vote might be six hours. And as time ticked by, her concern was not with her tired body or aching feet, but whether folks like her would get to have their say. Hour after hour, a throng of people stayed in line in support of her. Because Desiline is 102 years old. And they erupted in cheers when she finally put on a sticker that read “I Voted.”

We should follow the example of a police officer named Brian Murphy. When a gunman opened fire on a Sikh temple in Wisconsin, and Brian was the first to arrive, he did not consider his own safety. He fought back until help arrived, and ordered his fellow officers to protect the safety of the Americans worshiping inside – even as he lay bleeding from twelve bullet wounds.

When asked how he did that, Brian said, “That’s just the way we’re made.”

That’s just the way we’re made.

President Barack Obama, State of the Union Address, Feb. 12th, 2013.

If you didn’t choke up even a bit, you have no soul.

Filed under SOTU State of the Union Barack Obama Gun violence guns Politics News

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The impotent right-wing rage on my Facebook feed is incredible…

From “Hitler took guns!” to “Hitler surrounded himself with kids!” to “OBAMA IS A NAZI BUT CONSTITUTION I LOVES MY GUN!” to “IMPEACH THE FÜHRER!” that’s got to be a record for going all Godwin.

The comments about Secret Service are just precious. It’s like Obama is the first president in the history of ever to use a Secret Service detail for himself and his family. That doesn’t make him a hypocrite. Newsflash: Ronald Reagan used Secret Service AND supported gun control. Chew on that for little bit. Bet it tastes like your own foot and hypocrisy.

For fuck’s sake, y’all. You can still own a gun. No one is taking that away. What we’re looking at now is maybe you don’t need a military-grade, semi-automatic assault rifle with a high capacity magazine for home defense and deer slaying.

And by the way, if you can’t get a deer in a few shots, it deserves to get away.

Chill. The. Fuck. Out.

Filed under gun control godwin's law politics guns violence policy law barack obama conservative second amendment rage

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The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

From the White House’s official response to the “Death Star by 2016” petition.

They may not support blowing up planets, but the Obama Administration has little issue with leveling an entire village in Yemen with flying murder robots piloted from a booth in Nevada just to kill one suspected terrorist who’s “likely” there.

The civilians are just an oopsie who shouldn’t have gotten in the way of the Hellfire missiles, y’know? So unfortunate. /sarcasm

So there’s that.

Filed under Drones foreign policy barack obama Death Star politics war

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White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars

First off, this is not The Onion. Seriously.

Basically, a year ago today, the White House denied Obama was teleported to Mars. AND WE’VE HEARD NOTHING SINCE! So where’s the proof he didn’t? Hmmmm? Isn’t it weird that he has no proof he didn’t?

But what else do you expect from the LAMESTREAM MEDIA? C’mon birthers, he’s about to be inaugurated again. Get on it.

Filed under Barack Obama politics space news lulz Mars teleportation

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Mesa, Ariz. Woman Runs Husband Over With Her Car for Causing Obama's Re-election

Seriously:

Mesa resident Holly Solomon thinks it’s her husband’s fault that President Obama was re-elected last week, because he didn’t vote. Not only does Solomon, 28, have a thorough misunderstanding of our nation’s electoral system, she also ran over her husband with her car because of this, according to Gilbert police.

In an e-mail to media, Gilbert police Sergeant Jesse Sanger says the argument started in a parking lot Saturday morning over Daniel Solomon’s lack of voter participation. “According to Daniel, Holly believed her family was going to face hardship as a result of President Obama’s re-election,” Sanger says.

Witnesses told police that there was a lot of yelling before Holly Solomon hopped in her Jeep, and started chasing her husband around the parking lot.

Her husband tried to use a light pole to shield himself, and Solomon drove around the light pole several times as she continued to yell at him. Eventually, her husband made a run for it, but Solomon hit him, pinning him under the car and on a curb, according to police.

Daniel Solomon’s currently in critical condition at a hospital. Holly Solomon was booked into jail on charges of domestic violence and aggravated assault, and there are no indications she was impaired by alcohol or drugs at the time, according to Sanger.

At the risk of sounding like a cold cynic, voter outreach: you’re doing it very, very wrong.

But in all seriousness, I wish I were shocked this happened. But after the insane demonization of Barack Obama by right-wingers, I’m more shocked something like this didn’t happen sooner. In a strange way, it’s sad that she was so convinced her family was going to face hardship that she had such an extreme reaction to her husband not voting to stop it — not that his vote would have prevented Obama’s re-election or ensured Arizona’s electoral votes went to Romney, which they already did. And she did this, according to police, stone-cold sober.

Holy hell. I feel like there’s more to this story.

Filed under Arizona Mitt Romney Barack Obama Election 2012 Election politics Republican

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Twitter is flat-out killing me right now… neo-cons are having a goddamn meltdown. 

They don’t seem to get that Obama’s foreign policy is actually uncomfortably close to their own. It’s up to us to keep the pressure on regarding drone strikes, kill lists, civil rights, and the PATRIOT ACT. 

Fuck “Who is John Galt?” BS. Who is Bradley Manning, President Obama?

Twitter is flat-out killing me right now… neo-cons are having a goddamn meltdown.

They don’t seem to get that Obama’s foreign policy is actually uncomfortably close to their own. It’s up to us to keep the pressure on regarding drone strikes, kill lists, civil rights, and the PATRIOT ACT.

Fuck “Who is John Galt?” BS. Who is Bradley Manning, President Obama?

Filed under Twitter Barack Obama election 2012 Election foreign policy politics neo-con