Posts tagged Bristol Palin
Posts tagged Bristol Palin
Bristol Palin, lecturing the world on the sacredness of marriage.
For fuck’s sake…
So, to paraphrase Tina Fey on SNL, should marriage be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers? Far be it for me to judge here, but if we’re looking for guidance on the “traditional family” and the role of fathers, I do believe the last stop on the advice train is Teen Mom prototype Bristol Palin.
Overhyped reality neutron starlet Bristol Palin continues to grift across the country shilling her new book about doing whippets on the backs of snowmobiles as a toddler growing up in Alaska, so we know at least one person in America still has a job. Oh look, and she has appeared on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show because her mother works there! We imagine several hundred young ladies will be very excited to get Bristol Palin’s book for Christmas this year from those same creepy Hannity-fan uncles who obsessively forward Tea Party emails to the rest of the family…
Bristol dodges the only question anyone could possibly “care” about, which is “will your mindless grifter mother ever end our hollow agony and tell us whether she is running?” The answer is, probably she will say something in 2026. Until then, buy their family’s books.
Hilarity! By the way, the Palins quit the Mall of America book signing for Bristol halfway through. Total shock, right?
Yep, this is what politics in America hath wrought. Bristol Palin critiques Michele Bachman:
I think she dresses a lot like my mom. But a lot, a lot of women have done that the last few years. I do think it’s odd, you know, seeing people with red blazers with their hair up with glasses. I don’t know if she’s wearing glasses but you want to be “Hummmm, do you think that people don’t notice you’re dressing like my mom?”
How very catty of you, Bristol. How about this?
That’s then-First Lady Hillary Clinton in 1994 wearing a red blazer with her hair up. Maybe your mom is ripping off her look, hmmm?
Dammit folks, the sniping at Bachmann for her dress, praising her for being "President Babe" - y’all are almost making me feel bad for her and I DON’T WANT TO GO THAT PLACE!
Bristol, next time, why don’t you talk about how your mom’s policy positions are different or how your mom would be a better leader, etc. This 10th grade stuff has got to go. You’re reaching by suggesting that dressing professionally is somehow ripping off your mom’s look. I know you think the whole wide universe revolves around your family, but it really doesn’t. Sorry.
Update: Check that, Sarah’s ripping off Chelsea Clinton circa 1994, too:
In Bristol Palin’s new memoir, she essentially accuses Levi Johnston of date rape after revealing the night she lost her virginity to him, she was drunk on wine coolers, and didn’t remember a thing. She was apparently honest with her parents later on the loss of her virginity. She also calls him "a gnat" that “cheated on her as often as he sharpened his hockey skates.” Later, appearing with him at the GOP convention, she wrote it “somehow legitimized us as a couple.”
Predictably, the media is seizing upon the “how I lost my virginity” narrative, but there’s a few seriously disturbing things here: First, she’s accusing the father of her child of rape. Second, the Palins encouraged her to remain with Levi, knowing the circumstances of their first sexual encounter, and paraded Bristol and Levi around as an ideal teenage couple, rather than encouraging their daughter to leave (and report) an abusive rapist (if that’s what happened).
Let me restate that: If the allegations are true, they wanted her to marry her rapist.
Family values? Not ones I support.
Bristol, I am disappoint
Of course! It’s so simple! Just become a spokesperson for abstinence, go on a national reality show and get several magazine covers. Baby = profit.
This is how the next American civil war will start.
News story of the year.
Made my night, and possibly my entire weekend.
This is magical shit right here.