Posts tagged FAIL
Posts tagged FAIL
Protip: If you’re going to argue with yourself on Disqus, use more than one account.
Snarking at CNN is a marvelous pastime.
Sue Everhart, chairwoman of the Georgia Republican Party, according to Saturday’s Marietta Daily Journal. First off, what’s to stop straight people from doing this? And there’s more straight couples versus gay couples, so by Sue’s incredibly faulty logic, straight couples are the likely fraudsters. And I’ve been straight-married twice — where’s my free stuff?
Second, I have numerous LGBTQ friends who’ve said that their “equipment” works just fine for a sexual relationship thankyouverymuch. I swear, people like Sue spend more time thinking about the mechanics of gay sex than actual gay people do.
Rebranding: You’re doing it wrong.
Spelling #fail (at Kum & Go)
Honda has designed the Fit She’s, “the only car model aimed exclusively at women.” The designers took a regular Honda Fit and made it “adult cute.” The seats, steering wheel, and floor mats are all stitched in pink, and the apostrophe in “She’s” is shaped like a heart. Wrinkles, be gone: A special windshield cuts ultraviolet rays, and the AC unit allegedly improves the driver’s skin quality.
Please don’t market this in America.
Dear Wheaton College,
This is you:
This is my brain:
Why? Because the stupid literally hurts. You’d think this is something your lawyers would check on before going all religious martyr for the cause in court…
You’d think that.
Wyoming’s own professional creeper, Foster Friess, making an offhand comment to NBC News after a group of women gave him directions in the lobby of a hotel in Aspen, Colo. Seriously. Here’s the context:
NBC News intersected Friess as he walked with other donors from the lobby of an Aspen hotel to a nearby restaurant. He wore a white straw-style cowboy hat and paused to ask directions of locals. A group of women pointed him in the right direction. ’Women are God’s most beautiful creatures,’ he said as they walked away. ‘After the white-tailed deer and the swan.’ Friess was scheduled to meet on Wednesday afternoon with Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, to whom he said he would write a check.”
In summary, one of the largest donors to the GOP thinks women are “creatures” versus big, burly menfolks, and slightly below white-tailed deer and swans. Probably because we’re big ol’ sluts, amirite?! At least according to Foster.
In my day, also known as the present, women are free to use contraception and have sex. Or not. If you can’t handle that, perhaps you should stick an aspirin between your teeth and hold it there. It’ll keep you from staying stupid shit and it isn’t that costly.
Sarah Palin, continuing her desperate last gasps of trying be relevant on Fox News.
Typically, I wouldn’t give her more attention. But I’ve heard this argument so many damn times over the few days, so let’s roll.
First, what Dan Cathy said IS anti-gay and he’s donated to anti-gay organizations — groups which have helped the efforts in Uganda to criminalize homosexuality and execute gay people, are listed as hate groups by the Southern Poverty Law Center, and who have called for harmful “reparative therapy” to be standard treatment for gay people.
Plenty of folks have pointed out that this is not the way to spread a message of love thy neighbor. I would agree. As Suzette Standring wrote, “Jesus healed, socialized, walked, and ate with the marginalized and the flawed. Peter had anger management issues. Matthew was a hated tax collector. The Samaritan woman at the well was considered off limits to talk to for racial reasons. When an adulteress was about to be stoned, it was Jesus who challenged the sinless to cast the first stone. Her attackers left and when it was clear no one stayed to condemn her, Jesus said with great gentleness, ‘Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin’ (John 8:1-11)… If Jesus had harsh words for anyone, it was against those who saw themselves as the authorities of spiritual leadership. He criticized them publicly for hypocrisy, setting bad examples, and for perverting the word of God in order to maintain their own power.”
Second, I know this is difficult, but read this, plus this, this, this, and this. That’s why you’re 100% wrong about boycotts. Boycotts are free speech. Think about money as speech. Withholding money is also speech. It goes both ways. Please see
Less Than One Million Moms and their boycotts against JC Penney, Ellen DeGeneres, and the NBC show The New Normal.
Third, as Meghan McCain said, being anti-marriage equality IS being anti-gay. Is being anti-interracial marriage racist? You betcha.
Fourth, if a business owner gets political, even for religious reasons, expect a backlash. You don’t get to reel back and say, “Hey, no hard feelings, homos. Buy my chicken.” If your chicken gets political, we get political with your chicken. You dig?
In summary, go back to Alaska, snowbilly.
Mitt Romney, as explained by a Venn Diagram. Y’know, those things at which his campaign fails.
Dear folks in the UK — Sorry Romney’s worse than Sarah Palin. But you guys can totally have Palin instead. I promise. Take ‘em both, as our gift to you. No regifting, and no takebacks.
And this gem comes to us from Ken McCauley on the Wyoming Progressives page. As Ken writes:
Steve Bray (R) is apparently running for the Wyoming ASSEMBLY. According to the Wyoming Constitution, (Article 3) ‘the legislature of the State of Wyoming’ consists of ‘a senate and a house of representatives.’ Help me out historians, when was the last time The Wyoming government was called an assembly, 1888’s Wyoming Territorial Assembly?”
I got this. From the Wyoming Legislature’s website:
"In 1890, there were two legislative sessions held. The Eleventh, which was the last Territorial Legislative Assembly, convened January 14, 1890 and adjourned March 14, 1890. The first State Legislature convened November 12, 1890 and adjourned January 10, 1891.”
Long story short, there is no State Assembly in Wyoming.
Emphasis mine. Protip for life, kids: If you’re going to run for office, it’s helpful to know what the office is, and in which capacity you’ll be serving, i.e. the correct name of the legislative body. Perhaps he forgot he was running for state house, and chose assembly. Y’know, a few too many at a rodeo weekend, and crazy things happen.
Either that, or Steve Bray is convening a one-man assembly. I imagine
they’ll he’ll be holding meetings in a cabin in the woods. He and the trees will talk about Agenda 21, which is “an insidious, step-by-step, process that has found its way into federal, state, and local government” according to Steve and other — er — interesting folks.
He’s also running to protect family values. Why? Because reasons, hippies, and the sixties. Bray writes, “Since our society deviated from the family unit, most notably in the sixties, teen pregnancies, suicides, abortions, sexually transmitted diseases, among others, have all gone up.”
I really just don’t know what to say here, other than I sort of hope he wins. His opponent, Steve Harshman, is ridiculously conservative, and barring a write-in on the Democratic side, the primary ends the race for District 37. I just think Bray might be entertaining as hell. Imagine his shock IF he wins and discovers he’s been elected to the legislature, not the assembly! I bet he’ll feel so cheated.
From my pal, Charles Pelkey. He writes: “Apparently the ‘news’ crew at Fox was so eager to announce the Supremes’ rejection of the mandate that they forgot to read past the first page of the decision.”
Facepalm of the year? Quite possibly.
However, as ThinkProgress reports, the viral aspect of Twitter means Huffington Post, CNN, TIME, and NPR ALSO got it wrong. TIME and NPR both sourced CNN. And like HuffPo sources their info…
The parking meter on campus judges me as inferior. Or something.
This can’t be a good omen for midterms…
Spotted at the University of Wyoming Student Union today.
First, what the hell does “Temparality” mean?
Second, redundant sign is redundant. The information desk has information? Holy shit, I thought that’s just where I bought concert tickets…
Third, I think my degree was just devalued before I even graduated.
Newt Gingrich’s foray into the presidential race was almost adorable at first, but now, he’s just grating, particularly after today’s whining about not being on the primary ballot in his home state of Virginia. His campaign failed to meet the requirement of 10,000 valid signatures with 400 from each congressional district. It’s spelled out clearly in § 24.2-521 and § 24.2-522 of Virginia’s state code.
Further, this is not a new development. Since Newt’s a historian, we’ll have a brief history lesson in Virginia election law. The requirement (HB 49 - Petition requirements for independent and primary candidates) was approved March 16, 1998. It passed the Virginia House of Delegates on a 97-2 vote and the Virginia Senate on a vote of 40-0. The bill was sponsored by Republican Delegate Vincent F. Callahan, Jr. of McLean.
In summary, Newt’s lived in Virginia since 1999 - his representative to the Virginia House of Delegates (until 2008) was the same delegate who sponsored the bill. You’ve had twelve years to figure this shit out, Newt. You should know the rules.
"Only a failed system excludes four out of the six major candidates seeking access to the ballot," Campaign Director Michael Krull said in a statement. "Voters deserve the right to vote for any top contender, especially leading candidates. We will work with the Republican Party of Virginia to pursue an aggressive write-in campaign to make sure that all the voters of Virginia are able to vote for the candidate of their choice."
Krull’s statement is a titch dishonest - Huntsman, Bachmann, and Santorum didn’t even try to get on the primary ballot, excluding themselves by default. Also, there’s a huge problem with this “aggressive write-in campaign” strategy. Virginia doesn’t allow write-ins. § 24.2-529 states: “No write-in shall be permitted on ballots in primary elections.” I would say the meaning is quite explicit. None. Nada. No write-ins. There’s not even a write-in line on the ballot.
Krull continued to stick his foot in his mouth, posting Saturday on the Newt Gingrich Facebook page that this parallels Pearl Harbor.
"Newt and I agreed that the analogy is December 1941: We have experienced an unexpected set-back, but we will re-group and re-focus with increased determination, commitment and positive action."
Yep. Totally Pearl Harbor. Newt’s failure to organize is just like a horrific attack that left 2,402 people dead and 1,247 wounded. Commenters on the page were rightly galled by the comparison. A sampling:
Virginia gave candidates plenty of time to get the signatures together. Candidates could begin collecting signatures July 1st, 2011. The signatures were due to the Board of Elections December 22 by 5:00 PM. That’s 174 days - plus an additional 17 hours on the 22nd if the campaign wants to push it.
As several commentators have pointed out, this was not a problem in 2008 for Ron Paul, John McCain, Fred Thompson, Mike Huckabee, Rudy Giuliani, or Mitt Romney. Nor was it a problem for Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Richardson, Joe Biden, John Edwards, or Dennis Kucinich. Yep. Even Dennis Kucinich was organized enough to get on the ballot.
It appears this was a spectacular failure of organization on the part of Gingrich’s campaign. Even though he’s essentially risen from the dead to become the front-runner in many polls, this gift appears to be insufficient motivation for the Gingrich 2012 team. Despite opening a campaign office August 30th in Arlington, Va. and over 200 volunteers collecting signatures, the campaign was only able to muster 11,050 signatories. At a fundraiser Thursday, Gingrich claimed the campaign had 12,000-14,000 signatures collected, and assured supporters he would be on the ballot. The Virginia Republican Party and the State Board of Elections advise:
"Because many people who are not registered to vote will sign a petition, it is recommended that 15,000 - 20,000 signatures be obtained with at least 700 signatures from each congressional district."
To quote the also-disqualified Rick Perry:
Wednesday, Gingrich claimed to have all the signatures he needed, but “wanted to come to Virginia to deliver them personally.” He didn’t, but that’s irrelevant. Newt also claimed at a rally in Arlington this week, “Once again, Virginia is going to disappoint the Republican establishment ‘cause we’re going to turn in vastly more signatures than they need.”
Facepalm for sure. Gingrich must have been feeling the pinch. Though he was cocky Wednesday and Thursday, Politico unearthed this email on Tuesday, with the campaign offering to pay folks to collect signatures:
Because the deadline is coming up so quickly, we’ve got a pretty good budget to work with. We can offer $1 per signature, with a $50 bonus for every 100 signatures (in other words, if you get 100 signatures, you get $150, if you get 300 signatures, you get $450, if you get 1,000 signatures, you get $1,500). In addition, if you can put together a crew to get signatures, they can get paid the same amount, and you can get a $1,000 bonus for every 2,000 signatures your crew collects.
Incentives for signature collecting equals more false signatures. Assuming Gingrich collected 400 signatures from all districts, that meant over 90% of his signatures would have to also be valid.
So it’s a Romney/Paul primary, with Romney likely to capture all delegates. Romney’s campaign turned in over 16,000 signatures and Paul netted 14,361. Even though Virginia’s primary isn’t until March, the state has 49 delegates up for grabs which are awarded proportionally based on primary results. Gingrich shouldn’t scoff at 49 delegates either - remember when Hillary Clinton badly needed a Virginia victory in 2008? By the end of Super Tuesday (Feb. 5), Clinton led Obama by 27 delegates. After primaries in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington D.C. on February 12th, Obama led Clinton by 42 delegates (1,253 vs. 1,211):
Clinton never regained her lead.
Fast-forward to 2012 and switch sides. In Virginia, where recent polls have Gingrich leading Romney in the primary, a lack of organization has likely cost Gingrich those delegates. And the race is beginning to tighten somewhat. Take a look at averaged national polling data from 12/1-12/23.
Is it over for Newt? Considering that was predicted this summer, I’m hesitant to say yes. This may have exposed his Achilles’ heel: Newt can talk like he’s running a good ground game, but it may be all show. Gingrich is trailing Romney and Paul in Iowa, and Romney has a 13 point lead in New Hampshire.
Rather than Pearl Harbor, a more apt comparison for Gingrich may be Aesop’s fable about the ant and the grasshopper. The grasshopper, who was not in the habit of work or showing up on Mondays, chose to spend the summer and fall singing while the ant worked to store up food and prepare for winter. When winter blows in, the grasshopper finds itself dying of hunger and freezing. It asks the ant for food and shelter, but is turned away by the ant because the grasshopper screwed itself by being idle.
Romney began collecting signatures in August. Gingrich assumed he’d get the signatures, and chose to flit about doing speaking gigs and campaign appearances outside of Virginia. His campaign didn’t begin collecting signatures until around Thanksgiving. The result? An entitled old white dude with a Tiffany’s account didn’t get what he wanted and now he wants to break the established rules to wage a write-in campaign, moans through a spokesman that this is his Pearl Harbor, and insults the Republican Party of Virginia for following the rules and cross-checking signatures with addresses in the electronic voter database.
(Incidentally, Newt penned a novel about Pearl Harbor, which the New York Times panned as a “war on punctuation” in a review titled “An Assault on Hawaii. On Grammar Too.”)
So, yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he brought Newt Gingrich a steaming pile of failure. And no, Virginia, that man won’t be on your ballot. Looks like Newt needs to exercise a little personal responsibility he’s so fond of preaching. In conclusion, pull yourself up by your Tiffany bootstraps. You did it to yourself.
I got hate mail from this really fat liberal chick! :D
Tumblring like a prooooo!
You didn’t get hate mail, bro. Again, what I wrote: “Unlike you, I’ll use my name. Thanks for the anon message. I was sure to publish it! Cheers!”
"Really fat?" That’s all you can go to? Love the misogyny. I’m automatically a non-person simply because you don’t find me attractive. At least I post pictures without shame. You run a blog for action figures and you want to criticize me?
Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t be aesthetically pleasing enough for you. Let me not even bother to change that for you.
On a side note, why is it that the first resort for men on the internet, much less people in general? I have been told I am too ugly to rape. As if that were a compliment. It does wear a person down some days. It makes me question myself when I look in the mirror. Am I going to get off the internet because of it?
Your opinion does not matter. Period. It might rent space in my head for a moment, but guess what? Your opinion does not determine my future. Celebrate your “hate mail.” You want to know what else I’ve received? Threats that the Wyoming Department of Criminal Investigation has taken seriously enough to investigate. Insults about my weight, my looks. Declarations I should kill myself.
So if you think my message to you was hate mail, you must have patted on the head and given participation ribbons your whole life. Cheers!
Update, 11:30 PM MST: He deleted the original post.