Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged Facebook

33 notes

Mitch McConnell Wants You To Tell Him What Issues Matter, As Long As They’re Guns, Coal, ‘Bortion, And Obamacare

Hey, Tumblr. Mitch McConnell has opened his Facebook up for comments about what’s important to voters — with four specific criteria. Go make a serious, genuine comment, or troll the ever-living shit out of the page, I really don’t care.

Either way, he (and his staff) are going to come away thinking this was a terrible idea, so go have some fun, you kooky kids.

Filed under mitch mcconnell politics news Facebook yertle the turtle

166 notes

From the Coca-Cola Facebook page… This is likely the best worst response of the hundreds I sifted through, and as such, deserved its own post. You have racist hysteria punctuated with lots of ALL CAPS and exclamation points. There’s American exceptionalism proudly on display, as she insists translating “America the Beautiful” into other languages means we will “BOW DOWN” before them.

Yes, Georgia Ellis is real. She would like you to know that “we here in America speak America”. Why? Because the “supper bowl” is an “AMERICA GAME.” Now I’m just picturing KFC selling football-themed famous bowls and labeling them “supper bowls”. 

My second favorite posts would be the people who either don’t know “America the Beautiful” is NOT the national anthem, or the folks insisting they’re switching to Sprite or another Coca-Cola owned brand because they don’t care to look up what Coca-Cola actually distributes. How can you be bothered to do that when it’s just so much easier to fly off half-cocked?

From the Coca-Cola Facebook page… This is likely the best worst response of the hundreds I sifted through, and as such, deserved its own post. You have racist hysteria punctuated with lots of ALL CAPS and exclamation points. There’s American exceptionalism proudly on display, as she insists translating “America the Beautiful” into other languages means we will “BOW DOWN” before them.

Yes, Georgia Ellis is real. She would like you to know that “we here in America speak America”. Why? Because the “supper bowl” is an “AMERICA GAME.” Now I’m just picturing KFC selling football-themed famous bowls and labeling them “supper bowls”.

My second favorite posts would be the people who either don’t know “America the Beautiful” is NOT the national anthem, or the folks insisting they’re switching to Sprite or another Coca-Cola owned brand because they don’t care to look up what Coca-Cola actually distributes. How can you be bothered to do that when it’s just so much easier to fly off half-cocked?

Filed under Coca-Cola Georgia Ellis Racism white supremacy Facebook America the Beautiful Super Bowl

43 notes

Coca-Cola's "Why #AmericaIsBeautiful" commercial on Facebook

In case you missed why the xenophobes are melting down tonight, here’s the ad that sparked a racist rage fest on Coca-Cola’s Facebook page. This links directly to the post on Facebook. Be warned: Racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, classist, homophobic bile most vile abounds. 

So do massive trolling opportunities if you’re feeling puckish.

I’m looking at you, hawkamania.

Filed under Coca-Cola racism Facebook right-wing right-wing freakout white supremacy advertising Super Bowl Super Bowl XLVIII

56 notes

And now for something completely different: I present to you the best response to the impotent white rage on Coca-Cola’s Facebook page.

Here’s what I’m talking about: 

• http://cognitivedissonance.tumblr.com/post/75437294490/look-at-all-these-angry-white-people-i-ventured

• http://cognitivedissonance.tumblr.com/post/75436761374/look-at-all-these-angry-white-people-i-ventured

• http://cognitivedissonance.tumblr.com/post/75436625517/look-at-all-these-angry-white-people-i-ventured

• http://cognitivedissonance.tumblr.com/post/75436388491/i-ventured-over-to-coca-colas-facebook-page-and

And now for something completely different: I present to you the best response to the impotent white rage on Coca-Cola’s Facebook page.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

http://cognitivedissonance.tumblr.com/post/75437294490/look-at-all-these-angry-white-people-i-ventured

http://cognitivedissonance.tumblr.com/post/75436761374/look-at-all-these-angry-white-people-i-ventured

http://cognitivedissonance.tumblr.com/post/75436625517/look-at-all-these-angry-white-people-i-ventured

http://cognitivedissonance.tumblr.com/post/75436388491/i-ventured-over-to-coca-colas-facebook-page-and

Filed under racism Coca-Cola Facebook Super Bowl super bowl xlviii white supremacy flawless response

36 notes

From the “Stop being a jackass” files:

The proper response to a friend’s Facebook “______ married ______” life event:
“Congrats!” or “Hey, I didn’t know you got hitched. Congrats!” Basically, some variation on the theme of wishing them well.

A selection of improper responses:
“I wasn’t invited?” No, obviously you weren’t, and now you’re making it all awkward turtle for everyone else.

Or: “I don’t believe in marriage!” Good for you, snowflake. Now move along.

Or: “Ugh, I can’t believe you married ________!” Air your grievances in private. You don’t need to Debbie Downer threadjack about how your friend’s new spouse is a boil in humanity’s arse. It might be true, but that’s just rude to do on your friend’s event. I bet you weren’t invited to the wedding either.

Finally: “We’re pregnant/buying a house/got engaged/making millions!” Good for you! Now, let your pal have a moment before one-upping their happiness.

I’ve seen all of these this weekend. Here’s a rule of thumb: Would you say it to their face? How about at their wedding in front of all their guests into a microphone? Because that’s what you’re doing on Facebook. And if you answered yes to those questions, then we now know the reason you posted, “What, no invite?”

Because you’re a fun-sucking douchecanoe that feeds on squashing the happiness of others. /rant

Filed under rant social media facebook stop being jackasses wedding

64 notes

Dear Facebook,
You and your suggested pages can eat me. I haven’t searched anything remotely close to babies, though I did recently search “vodka drink recipes”. My married, childfree friends have all discovered that as we approach and crest age thirty, Facebook is the nosiest mother of them all — “When are you gonna stop instaphotoing your food and give me some GRANDBABIES?!”
I’m not looking to procreate any time soon, and especially not with a site boasting that it, plus its tips, are responsible for 6,000+ shrieking miracles. Also, I haven’t seen or used the term “baby maker” since I threatened to kick a skeevy dude named Ryan in it sometime in middle school.
/rant

Dear Facebook,

You and your suggested pages can eat me. I haven’t searched anything remotely close to babies, though I did recently search “vodka drink recipes”. My married, childfree friends have all discovered that as we approach and crest age thirty, Facebook is the nosiest mother of them all — “When are you gonna stop instaphotoing your food and give me some GRANDBABIES?!”

I’m not looking to procreate any time soon, and especially not with a site boasting that it, plus its tips, are responsible for 6,000+ shrieking miracles. Also, I haven’t seen or used the term “baby maker” since I threatened to kick a skeevy dude named Ryan in it sometime in middle school.

/rant

Filed under childfree babies Facebook rant baby maker what thirty personal

22 notes

I went to Paula Deen’s Facebook page the other day, probably because I hate myself, but ostensibly to see what her supporters had to say at the request of one of my fellow stand-up comedians working on a Paula Dean joke.
This wasn’t the worst comment in response to the page’s question: “How many of y’all are taking a vacation?” It was pretty representative, though.
But I noticed something interesting when I scrolled back before the fury was unleashed regarding her unbridled racism and discrimination. There were very few comments like this one.
This leads me to three possible, immediate conclusions: Paula Deen’s supporters are racist, her PR staff used to be better at scrubbing, or, now that people know about her propensity towards bigotry, they have a “permission slip” to let fly.
I’d say the last conclusion is the most likely, though it’s probably a little of Column A, a little of Column B. Oh, and I’m going to stay off her page. It’s a swarm of asshats.

I went to Paula Deen’s Facebook page the other day, probably because I hate myself, but ostensibly to see what her supporters had to say at the request of one of my fellow stand-up comedians working on a Paula Dean joke.

This wasn’t the worst comment in response to the page’s question: “How many of y’all are taking a vacation?” It was pretty representative, though.

But I noticed something interesting when I scrolled back before the fury was unleashed regarding her unbridled racism and discrimination. There were very few comments like this one.

This leads me to three possible, immediate conclusions: Paula Deen’s supporters are racist, her PR staff used to be better at scrubbing, or, now that people know about her propensity towards bigotry, they have a “permission slip” to let fly.

I’d say the last conclusion is the most likely, though it’s probably a little of Column A, a little of Column B. Oh, and I’m going to stay off her page. It’s a swarm of asshats.

Filed under paula deen racism facebook white privilege tw: racism public relations