Posts tagged For fuck's sake
Posts tagged For fuck's sake
Anyone writing an academic paper on white privilege and is looking for a primary source?
Meet Suzy Lee Weiss.
Before I start, I dare you to not put your fist through your monitor while reading her
opinion editorial Facebook-worthy bitchfest.
She didn’t get into the college of her choice and it’s everyone else’s fault because she took the advice of “be yourself” and it backfired. Here’s a passage chock full o’ cluelessness and racism:
For starters, had I known two years ago what I know now, I would have gladly worn a headdress to school. Show me to any closet, and I would’ve happily come out of it. “Diversity!” I offer about as much diversity as a saltine cracker. If it were up to me, I would’ve been any of the diversities: Navajo, Pacific Islander, anything. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, I salute you and your 1/32 Cherokee heritage.
I also probably should have started a fake charity. Providing veterinary services for homeless people’s pets. Collecting donations for the underprivileged chimpanzees of the Congo. Raising awareness for Chapped-Lips-in-the-Winter Syndrome. Fun-runs, dance-a-thons, bake sales—as long as you’re using someone else’s misfortunes to try to propel yourself into the Ivy League, you’re golden.
Suzy bemoans not having a tiger mom, or two moms, or not hanging out with an African orphan named “Kinto” — as Gawker points out, just a little too close to Kunta Kinte.
And lest you think Suzy is in dire economic straits, here’s a news article profiling her parents’ custom-built, luxury $700,000 home.
Basically, nothing is her fault — she can’t help being straight, white, well-off! Y’all should cater to her for it because she’s a hard life. Well, at least life’s been SO HARD since she found out she didn’t get into the college of her choice.
SHE’S JUST SUPER PISSED YOU GUYS. And since her sister used to be an opinion features editor at the Wall Street Journal, Suzy was able to flood the presses with her righteous white whine.
They’re trolling us now, right? RIGHT?
"But even worse is the way some textbooks are pushing the liberal agenda," Fox News host [Eric Bolling] explained, pointing to an algebra worksheet that Scholastic says gives students "[i]nsight into the distributive property as it applies to multiplication."
"Distribute the wealth!" Bolling exclaimed, reading the worksheet. "Distribute the wealth with the lovely rich girl with a big ole bag of money, handing some money out." Co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle explained that the algebra worksheet had put her on "high alert" for the liberal agenda in her 6-year-old son’s curriculum.
DISTRIBUTING THE WEALTH? Oh, it’s just a math lesson though… taught by leftist indoctrination centers!
For the record, here’s the worksheet. So if it were apples and a first grade class, would it then be teaching them to rely on handouts for food like FOOD STAMPS OMG instead of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps?
Here’s a Fox News math lesson:
Teacher: “If I have three apples, and I give Jimmy one apple, how many do I have left?”
Eric Bolling: “Why doesn’t Jimmy have his own apples? Why can’t he be responsible for himself?”
Kimberly Guilfoyle: “YEAH! He should bring his own!”
Teacher: “It’s just an example, folks. He uh, didn’t have one because his parents were out. Now let’s continue with —”
Dana Perino: "— Why don’t they have apples? Because they spent all their welfare on DRUGS and now JIMMMY expects a HANDOUT?!"
Teacher: ”*sigh* Class dismissed…”
Greg Gutfield: “Oh, now you’re starting a leftist ‘class war’ and saying we shouldn’t have class? MARXIST!”
Yep, that’s exactly how it would go.
Spotted a sticker like this one on a dually pickup truck from Campbell County in Wyoming. This affirms everything I’ve ever believed about Gillette.
And the rest of America to poor little rich girl Lindsey Lohan:
You know those actors and actresses you idolize from the 1940s and 1950s? Your tax rates are much, much lower than a good portion of them paid.
Now, let’s talk about how much YOUR antics have cost taxpayers, hmmmm?
(h/t: Matt Cherette)
See this comic book cover? It’s the first issue with Batman villain Bane. It’s from 1993. No big deal, right?
Wrong. If you’re El Rushbo, and your ratings have dipped, IT’S A GODDAMN CONSPIRACY FACTORY! Seriously. Here’s what Rush Limbaugh had to say:
Have you heard this new movie, the Batman movie, what is it, The Dark Knight Lights Up or whatever the name is. That’s right, Dark Knight Rises. Lights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in The Dark Knight Rises is named Bane, B-a-n-e. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time. The release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental that the name of the really vicious fire breathing four eyed whatever it is villain in this movie is named Bain?
Or maybe so. This one is just as ridiculous as the bithers. Maybe even more so — so now, super-villain evil genius time-traveler Kenyan Muslim usurper Barack Obama is now a comic book author and illustrator? All this about a guy the right-wing bitches is completely ineffective and can’t get anything done. Let me just say, for someone who can’t accomplish anything, Obama’s accomplished a lot. Gawker breaks it down:
Obviously, Limbaugh deserves to be commended for his groundbreaking work uncovering how in 1993, Obama convinced comic writer Chuck Dixon to create a super-villain named Bane, knowing that two decades later he would be locked in a close presidential election campaign with the obscure son of a moderate Republican governor, at the time making gobs of money in Boston.
Obviously. And I guarantee, there’s at least one dude swearing at work that the new Batman movie is Obama propaganda.
Is Rush even trying any longer?
For the love of all things holy and unholy, I hope I love Rick Santorum is trolling.
Please be trolling.
Seriously… and the fanfic is pretty puritanical. If you’re going to write Santorum fanfic, make it goddamned raunchy.
And don’t submit it here. Submit it there. You have a challenge, readers.
Will you accept it?