Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged LULZ

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No, People In Colorado Are Not Using Food Stamps To Buy Pot

What happens when you mistake satire for real news? Headlines like the one above!

Remember Colorado State Sen. Vickie Marble? You last saw her claiming poverty was higher among those in the “black race” because they eat too much fried chicken.

Yeah. Her. She’s still in office.

Anyhow, she and the Douglas County Republican Party were duped by a satire site into believing Colorado food stamp recipients were using their benefits to buy pot. In her role as state senator, she filed a bill to stop it.

Oops.

Filed under Vicki Marble Colorado News politics marijuana legalization republican satire alert lulz lol

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Your kids will run with your bullshit explanation

I got a gift certificate for food at a local restaurant today. Having walked several miles after eating just a small bowl of shredded wheat, I booked it there and was eating a delicious plate of chicken teriyaki. A little girl waved at me from the table in front of me, and I waved back. Her mother tapped her hand and said, “Don’t wave at strangers.”

The little girl asked why, and said she waved because I was eating by myself and not with my family. Instead of answering with something like “Maybe her family doesn’t live here” or “Because she wants to”, Mama Bear answers, “Maybe she isn’t lucky enough to have a family that loves her like you do, or maybe her family is mad at her for asking too many questions and not eating her dinner.” I rolled my eyes.

The girl replied, “That’s sad mommy,” and contemplated this for a second. She then looked at me and shouted, loud enough for the entire place to hear, “I’M SORRY YOU DON’T HAVE A FAMILY MRS PERSON!”

I thought her mother was going to die of embarrassment. Give your kids a bullshit, half-insulting answer, expect them to make sure your ass ends up mortified. 

Bravo, wee one. Bravo.

Filed under children parents family lulz your kids will embarass you

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Create Your Own Sexting Pseudonym With Our Carlos Danger Name Generator

I’m Felipe Evil!

Filed under anthony weiner Politics carlos danger lulz NYC New York City scandal