Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged Lulz

99 notes

Jeers to [Rep. Lynn] Hutchings who, in addition to tsk-tsking gay marriage advocates, also perpetuated dangerously backward stereotypes about gays including that AIDS is primarily a gay disease. We’re sure that comes as great comfort to the more than 12,000 people who contracted HIV through heterosexual contact in 2010 (the last year CDC figures are available).

And while we’re at it, jeers to the testimony about gay marriage which disintegrated into a conversation about the properties of the human colon. One proponent argued the colon wasn’t built for sex. That may be true, yet the colon wasn’t built for most canned chili, but you don’t see us arguing for a law banning it.
The Casper Star-Tribune editorial board, Feb. 2, 2013, on the disgusting, off-topic testimony against domestic partnerships and marriage equality.

Filed under marriage equality Wyoming the colon chili lulz Lynn Hutchings LGBTQ Politics

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Deadspin XY: Let's All Watch Marco Rubio's Panicked Drink Of Water In Extreme Slow Motion

From Deadspin:

It was the swig heard ‘round the world. Florida senator Marco Rubio, tasked with delivering the official Republican response to President Obama’s State of the Union address, found himself parched and distant from the necessary tool to quench that burning fire.

Oh my God, the song… I laughed at this way harder than I should have.

Filed under Marco Rubio water politics lulz GOP

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Yes, come check out Texas. Check out a state that ranks dead last in the percent of its population with high school diplomas. Come check out a state that is last in mental health expenditures and workers’ compensation coverage. Come check out a state that ranks first in the number of executions, first in the number of uninsured, first in the amount of carbon dioxide emitted and first in the amount of toxic chemicals released into water. Texas certainly has some attractions for business, and California certainly needs to work harder to create a friendly place to start companies and grow jobs. But California is creating businesses all the time, partly because of our natural assets – great weather and stunning mountains, beaches and deserts – and an excellent although underfunded system of higher education.

If we invest in that system and protect our environment, our state will continue to create companies such as Apple, Google, Hewlett Packard, Oracle, Craigslist, Yelp, Twitter, Sun Microsystems, Genentech, Cisco, Intel and Qualcomm, and the list goes on and on.

Gov. Jerry Brown, visiting a UPS distribution center Tuesday to celebrate a new fleet of all-electric vehicles, suggested that media hounds find something else to cover than the Perry ads. “It’s not a serious story, guys,” the governor told reporters. “It’s not a burp. It’s barely a fart.”

The Sacramento Bee fabulously smacks down Gov. Rick Perry’s run of “Move to Texas” ads in California and suggests California help out Texas high-school students with a book drive to increase their graduation rate.

Filed under OH SNAP Texas Rick Perry politics California lulz education Jerry Brown

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Listen to Cognitive Dissonance!

Tune into 93.5 KOCA tonight, 10PM-1 AM MST and keep your dial locked for fab music + Legit Conservative + d-bag o’ the week. Even emergency surgery can’t keep me off the airwaves, folks.

We’ll be talking about the legislature of course. We’re gonna rant and rave a bit. AND I HAVE GERALD (NOT)GAY ON TAPE AGAIN! That’s right, because some of y’all missed it, we’ll play it again, Sam. Oh yeah, and we’re gonna talk about this guy, Rep. Hans Hunt: http://cognitivedissonance.tumblr.com/post/42608551732/wyoming-rep-hans-hunt-to-fellow-citizen-if-you-care

Don’t forget to send The Legitimate Conservative some questions!

Listen online and talk to us in the live chat! Check out http://myradiostream.com/cognitivedissonance to listen at 10 PM and http://chat.myradiostream.com/FSHs11p6864/ for the chat!

Taking your requests for songs, dedications & d-bag nods til 8 PM MST!

Cheers,

Meg

Filed under Radio Live radio college radio media Politics lulz

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Congress more popular than meth labs, less popular than Nickelback

Recently, Public Policy Polling sought to discover just how low the public’s opinion of Congress had fallen, testing the popularity of the U.S. Congress against twenty-six different, typically unpopular things. We all know that the American people have a less-than-favorable opinion of Congress (9% favorable and 85% unfavorable), but damn. The results weren’t pretty.

Here’s the outcome of PPP’s survey, in a handy illustrated form, from most to least popular thing:

#1:

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When presented with a choice between Congress or Brussels sprouts, respondents gave a higher favorable rating to Brussels sprouts (69%) versus Congress (23%).

#2:

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Survey takers had a higher opinion of lice (69%) than Congress (19%).

#3:

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Respondents held colonoscopies in higher regard (58%) than Congress (31%).

#4:

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Used car salesman beat out Congress 57% to 32%.

#5: 

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Respondents had a higher opinion of actual traffic jams (56%) versus the metaphorical traffic jam of Congress (34%).

#6:

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The NFL’s much-maligned replacement refs did better than Congress by a rate of 56% to 29%.

#7:

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Root canals were chosen over Congress 56% to 32%.

#8:

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The perceived snub launching “freedom fries” must be forgiven — 46% of people held a higher opinion of France, while Congress received a favorable rating of 37%.

#9: 

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Cockroaches have a remarkable ability to adapt to a changing environment. Perhaps this helps explain why they edge out Congress 45% to 43%.

#10:

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It was nearly a tie between the Donald and Congress for a higher opinion rating. But Trump edged out Congress 44% to 42%.

#11:

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Respondents held a higher favorable opinion of Genghis Khan (41%) versus Congress (37%).

#12:

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Carnies fared better than Congress in PPP’s popularity poll — 39% to 31%.

#13:

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I know, right? But PPP assures us that 39% of people hold a higher opinion of Nickelback than Congress. Respondents held Congress in higher esteem than the Canadian scourge at a rate of 32%.

#14:

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Political Pundits were favored over Congress 37% to 34%.

But all is not lost. Here’s the choices with a lower favorability than Congress:

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As PPP explains:

Congress did manage to beat out telemarketers (45-35), John Edwards (45-29), the Kardashians (49-36), lobbyists (48-30), North Korea (61-26), the ebola virus (53-25), Lindsay Lohan (45-41), Fidel Castro (54-32), playground bullies (43-38), meth labs (60- 21), communism (57-23), and gonorrhea (53-28).

Job well done, 112th Congress.

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113th Congress, you’ve got some big shoes to fill.

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under PPP Public Policy Polling politics Congress popularity 112th Congress lulz polling poll news

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White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars

First off, this is not The Onion. Seriously.

Basically, a year ago today, the White House denied Obama was teleported to Mars. AND WE’VE HEARD NOTHING SINCE! So where’s the proof he didn’t? Hmmmm? Isn’t it weird that he has no proof he didn’t?

But what else do you expect from the LAMESTREAM MEDIA? C’mon birthers, he’s about to be inaugurated again. Get on it.

Filed under Barack Obama politics space news lulz Mars teleportation

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Cafepress.com is offering 100% off if the world ends on 12/21/2012.

The disclaimer: “World ending events that trigger this offer include only Extinction Level Events (‘ELE’) that wipe out all life on Earth and the Earth itself. In other words, the third rock from the sun must cease to exist in order for this offer to apply. If you somehow manage to survive an ELE and the destruction of the Earth, this offer is actually only good for a discount off select merchandise, excluding shipping charges, gift wrap charges, and applicable sales tax.”

There’s always a catch. No free shipping? But I survived the MOTHERFUCKIN’ APOCALYPSE!

Cafepress.com is offering 100% off if the world ends on 12/21/2012.

The disclaimer: “World ending events that trigger this offer include only Extinction Level Events (‘ELE’) that wipe out all life on Earth and the Earth itself. In other words, the third rock from the sun must cease to exist in order for this offer to apply. If you somehow manage to survive an ELE and the destruction of the Earth, this offer is actually only good for a discount off select merchandise, excluding shipping charges, gift wrap charges, and applicable sales tax.”

There’s always a catch. No free shipping? But I survived the MOTHERFUCKIN’ APOCALYPSE!

Filed under lulz Cafe Press shopping apocalypse Dec. 21 12.21.12