Cognitive Dissonance

Matt Bors kills me…

I can’t help but think of the “Probably” South Park episode from Season Four:

Hell Director: Hello, newcomers, and welcome. Can everybody hear me? [taps the mic a few times] Hello? Can everybuh-? Okay. [the crowd quiets down] Uh, I’m the hell director. Uh, it looks like we have about 8,615 of you newbies today, and for those of you who are a little confused, uh, you are dead, and this is hell, so, abandon all hope and uh yada yada yada. Uh, we are now going to start the orientation process, which will last about —

Man: Hey, wait a minute, I shouldn’t be here. I wa a totally strict and devout Protestant! I thought we went to heaven!

Hell Director: Yes, well I’m afraid you were wrong.

Soldier: I was a practicing Jehovah’s Witness.

Hell Director: Uh, you picked the wrong religion as well.

Man: Well, who was right? Who gets into heaven?

Hell Director: I’m afraid it was the Mormons. Yes, the Mormons were the correct answer.

Crowd: [disappointed] Awww.

Yes. So much this…

(Source: mattbors.com, via mattbors)

Nailed it

(Source: mattbors)

Yeah! What if they have guns and launch projectiles that shatter people’s skulls?! 

Oh, that was the police? Well, I guess that’s okay then… </sarcasm>

The crazed look on the cop’s face mimics what’s been captured on video. If you want to know what they think of the protesters, check out this forum where police are discussing the lead up to Scott Olsen’s skull fracture at Occupy Oakland. They’re smearing a Marine to justify brutality.

(Source: mattbors.com)

So then there’s this…

Just as mass incarceration has burdened American taxpayers in major prison states, so is the use of inmate labor contributing to lost jobs, unemployment and decreased wages among workers — while corporate profits soar.

The use of forced labor in prisons took off in the early 1990s. Funny that. So did our incarceration rate:

Our prison industrial complex is nothing but corporate slave labor. Not saying people are purposefully being locked up to be a captive labor force for corporations, but with a largely privatized prison system, plus corporate contracts for labor going to said prisons, it’s an awfully interesting correlation, no?

Yes.

(Source: mattbors)

This is too perfect.

(Source: mattbors)

Rick Perry prayed for rain and got fire. Obviously, he’s not getting the message like Michele Bachmann.

(Source: mattbors)

And Matt Bors makes me weep for the future. From his blog:

After that debt debate, I’m not too sure what Obama’s going to be running on this election. The near-universal consensus these days is that he’s a wimp without any fight in him who got steamrolled by the Tea Party. He’s says it is now time to focus on jobs. I guess half way into a lost decade is as good a time as any for lip service.

Ultimately, Democrats and their apologists will fall back on their usual way of motivating liberals to get out to the polls: threatening them with Republican rule. Lucky for them, America’s distaste for the Republican party is at a peak so they may be able to coast back into office even after these abysmal couple of years.

2012 is just around the corner! Hooray!

Matt Bors is a genius. 

(Source: mattbors)

Alternative history, courtesy of Matt Bors 

Speaking of Matt Bors, here’s one of his latest editorial cartoons I love so hard. Superman renouced his American citizenship, but remember, the dude came here illegally from Krypton anyhow. I don’t know why the Teabaggers have their knickers in a twist. HOW DARE SOMEONE NOT WANT TO BE A CITIZEN OF THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WHOLE HISTORY OF THE WORLD?!

No. Seriously. They’re collectively losing their goddamn minds. Check out BigGovernment contributor Robert Bidinotto’s take:

Consider the same Culturati’s vicious gang assault on the “Atlas Shrugged” movie, their collateral smears of Ayn Rand and her ideas - and their undisguised repudiation of the American individualist values that film champions. It will be even harder for them to disguise their true motives when (not “if”) they defend the latest outrage against a symbolic American icon.

I’m referring to the fact that the Politically Correct heirs to the DC Comics “Superman” franchise have decided to transform the caped champion of “truth, justice, and the American way” into an unAmerican citizen of the planet. Believe it or not, “Superman” is now renouncing his American citizenship… No, we can’t have American kids growing up to believe in, well, America anymore. America, and what it uniquely represents, just isn’t “enough.” Instead, our children must be taught to think of themselves as citizens of the world, holding their primary allegiance to the United Nations - not to the United States. Name me one other place on the planet where contempt for one’s own nation is celebrated as the hallmark of moral virtue and intellectual sophistication.

This is not the first time that comic-book writers have, symbolically, renounced their allegiance to America. A while back, they obliterated “Captain America,” temporarily morphing him into the unAmerican “Nomad” before returning him to his old identity (only after the writers scored their anti-U.S.-government political points).

And lest you dismiss this as much ado about nothing, understand that comic-book heroes are pure, idealized embodiments of a society’s dominant values. Their stories are overt manifestations of our reigning cultural Narratives, which I’ve discussed previously. Simply put, many of those now writing comic books for kids hate the American individualist Narrative.

I figured they’d be thrilled about a literal illegal alien not looking for amnesty by pretending to be an American, but whatever.

(Source: mattbors.com)

Matt Bors is a genius. 

Yeah! Hot new economy! If he proposed this, it wouldn’t be the wackiest, wrong-headed thing suggested by the GOP.

Makes sense, doesn’t it?