Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged Old people

19 notes

Merry Whatever-the-fuck-you-celebrate! (Or not, that’s cool)

I went to Wal-Mart earlier, and wished the elderly cashier a Happy Holidays. She narrowed her eyes at me and nearly growled, “Merry CHRIST-mas!” Just like that, Christmas as two words. I told her I was Jewish and left her stuttering. I was already irritated after driving across town in a foot of snow to buy cat food. That just made my day, right there. 

I’m not really Jewish, but this supposed War on Christmas is really getting on my nerves like it does every year. It doesn’t exist. Suggestions from my friends included telling her I celebrate Kwanzaa, preaching about the FSM, and wishing her a Happy Boxing Day. I like this one from my buddy Josh: “I probably would have ended up saying something like ‘Yes, Christmas. Because that hippie Jesus stole the spotlight from Mithras.’”

So spread the joy this holiday season. I will. 

Filed under Holidays Happy Holidays Merry Christmas Whatever Wal-Mart Wal-Mart is going to destroy everything old people War on Christmas