Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged Rick Santorum

48 notes

On conservative love triangles…

Rebloggable by request:

NOW YOU LISTEN HERE. MITT ROMNEY IS A LOYAL MAN. YOU CAN CALL HIM GAY, YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF HIS POLITICS, BUT YOU CANNOT SAY HE WOULD BE WITH PAUL RYAN LIKE THAT. HOW DARE YOU — HOW -DARE- YOU — IMPLY THAT HE WOULD EVER CHEAT ON OR LEAVE HIS LONG TIME PARTNER, RICK SANTORUM?

 seiuchiblarg

Meg at Cognitive Dissonance

I… I thought you were serious for about half a second, then….

But Rick is all like, no Mitt, we can’t be seen together, and besides, YOU CAN’T FORCE ME TO LOVE YOU!

Wait…

Rick Santorum, Mittens Romney, Paul Ryan all in a jealous love triangle, a conservative hatefuck lovefest?

Someone write this fanfic RIGHT NOW. I’m not doing it. Remember, Rule 34 still applies. So if you Google it, be prepared. You might invoke Rule 35.

Cheers,

Meg

Filed under Rick Santorum Paul Ryan Mitt Romney Mittens politics lulz ship it do it conservative GOP fanfic

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O_o

NO…FUCKING…WAY

Rick Santorum seems to catch himself right before calling President Barack Obama a nigger at about 15 seconds into the video. 

Glen Coco at Vice has the scoop:

This is presidential candidate Rick Santorum (holy shit does that look scary written down) delivering a speech in Janesville, Wisconsin a couple of days ago. And, as you can see in the above video, it seems like he might have been on the verge of calling Obama a “nigger”… Santorum’s rolling out the racist gaffes about once a quarter so far in 2012, after this slip of the tongue back in January. (He was actually saying “blah people”, guys! Duhhh.)

Wow. I’m really not sure how he could walk this back, but honestly, with today’s GOP migrating backwards in time, I’m not sure he needs to walk it back.

And that is so very depressing.

Filed under Rick Santorum N-word politics seriously?! Barack Obama Obama racism race bigotry Racist Republican Election 2012 conservative

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Rick Santorum Denies He’s Ever Even Mentioned Contraception

Seriously. He really said he has not mentioned contraception during his campaign.

Remember this, Rick?

"One of the things I will talk about that no president has talked about before is the dangers of contraception in this country." — Rick Santorum, October 2011

And this? Ooh, there’s this too. And all those debates, Rick? Let me guess — it wasn’t you, it was the sweater vest. That nefarious sweater vest of methodical, woolly chicanery… Tsk tsk, Rick.

I am too tired for this fuckery. Jezebel has the money shot:

Rick Santorum went on MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning where Joe Scarborough asked him if he regrets bringing the issue of contraception into his campaign. Rickles got flustered and turned pissy fast. He said, “I’ve never had any record or anything about talking about access to contraception.”

Wait… found some responses:

Oh, and this one:

Ooh, one more:

Yes, Rick. You did mention contraception a few times, and you are a lying oxygen thief. That is all.

Filed under Rick Santorum fuckery politics contraception GOP are you fucking kidding me? Republican Republicans seriously reproductive rights facepalm liar lying

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Crowd at Santorum Rally Horrified When Two Men Kiss

There’s nothing more patriotic than shrieking “USA! USA!” at two men who kissed in front of you:

Rick Santorum was well into his speech during a campaign rally in Arlington Heights, Ill., on Friday when two men in the crowd embraced in a rather passionate kiss, prompting a “mic check” and two guards to escort them from the rally.

The crowd reacted with audible screams, gasps and wagging fingers. Another man jumped up and followed the pair out as the audience began chanting “U-S-A” until they left the gym at Christian Liberty Academy where Santorum was speaking.

Kirsten Boyd Johnson brings the snark over at Wonkette:

What’s this, two men interrupting Rick Santorum’s banal rambling to lock lips in a simple act of protest against homophobia? ACTION TEAM FORCE PATRIOTISM TO THE RESCUE. Watch the excitable wingnuts spring into action and holler “U-S-A” over and over in a heroic attempt to ward off decency and tolerance from their midst. How about some finger pointing, would finger pointing help, too?

This lady is on it, oh boy is she:

Dear God no! Look at those men! Look at what they’re doing! It’s so, so, SINFUL

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under Rick Santorum Mic check politics homophobia conservative conservatives Republican Republicans Christian Liberty Academy Illinois Election 2012 Campaign

39 notes

Rick Santorum Fanfic Exists

For the love of all things holy and unholy, I hope I love Rick Santorum is trolling. 

Please be trolling.

Seriously… and the fanfic is pretty puritanical. If you’re going to write Santorum fanfic, make it goddamned raunchy. 

And don’t submit it here. Submit it there. You have a challenge, readers. 

Will you accept it?

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under Rick Santorum Politics GOP Fanfic seriously Conservative for fuck's sake this proves god does not exist um no just plain wrong wow Santorum Republican

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Does that sunbathing man look familiar? That’s GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum tanning his pasty hide in Puerto Rico. The photo was snapped by members of an all-gay cruise. Joe.My.God posted the photo & the scoop:

Shortly after telling Puerto Ricans that they are unworthy of statehood unless they make English their official language, Rick Santorum soaked up the poolside rays at a local resort. Also staying at that resort were passengers from an Atlantis all-gay cruise, who snapped the above photo. Thanks to JMG tipsters James and Guy for sending this along.

Now, using the conservative Guilt-By-Fallacious-Association MethodTM, one can make several conclusions. A demonstration:

(Click on image to enlarge)
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, nor am I implying Santorum is gay. However, using the right-wing standard of proof on display with the Derrick Bell non-troversy and Sandra Fluke, it’s pretty easy to turn the tables. Or flowchart, if you will.

Does that sunbathing man look familiar? That’s GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum tanning his pasty hide in Puerto Rico. The photo was snapped by members of an all-gay cruise. Joe.My.God posted the photo & the scoop:

Shortly after telling Puerto Ricans that they are unworthy of statehood unless they make English their official language, Rick Santorum soaked up the poolside rays at a local resort. Also staying at that resort were passengers from an Atlantis all-gay cruise, who snapped the above photo. Thanks to JMG tipsters James and Guy for sending this along.

Now, using the conservative Guilt-By-Fallacious-Association MethodTM, one can make several conclusions. A demonstration:

(Click on image to enlarge)

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, nor am I implying Santorum is gay. However, using the right-wing standard of proof on display with the Derrick Bell non-troversy and Sandra Fluke, it’s pretty easy to turn the tables. Or flowchart, if you will.

Filed under Rick Santorum GOP politics fallacy fun with fallacy Republican Conservative Joe.My.God Election 2012 Puerto Rico

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Rick Santorum Wins Alabama, Mississippi

It’s a surge! Coming from the south! 

I’m just thrilled this circus is going to keep rolling. C’mon GOP, you’ve promised a dog-and-pony show this election year. You better keep delivering.

Now, I’m gonna go make my man a sandwich, and hope he gets me pregnant while I’m barefoot in the kitchen. </sarcasm>

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under Rick Santorum Primaries Election 2012 Politics GOP conservative Alabama Mississippi bread and circuses

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Democrat crossover votes could cost Romney in Michigan

This makes me giggle. Part of it is Rick Santorum’s doing, too. His campaign sent out a robocall to Democrats encouraging them to vote for Santorum because of Mitt Romney’s desire to see Detroit’s auto industry go bankrupt.

This is nothing new for Michigan, as ABC News points out:

Michigan has a long history of crossover voting and other electoral shenanigans because of their open primary where both Republicans and Democrats can participate.

I love open primaries.

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under Rick Santorum Michigan politics GOP Robocall Republican Republicans lulz Democrats Mitt Romney Mittens Romney