Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged Space

85 notes

White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars

First off, this is not The Onion. Seriously.

Basically, a year ago today, the White House denied Obama was teleported to Mars. AND WE’VE HEARD NOTHING SINCE! So where’s the proof he didn’t? Hmmmm? Isn’t it weird that he has no proof he didn’t?

But what else do you expect from the LAMESTREAM MEDIA? C’mon birthers, he’s about to be inaugurated again. Get on it.

Filed under Barack Obama politics space news lulz Mars teleportation

77 notes

Wait… WHAT ISN’T NASA TELLING US?!
On a related note, I was thrilled to see NASA’s website crash last night with the Mars Curiosity landing, and the multiple postings on Facebook profiles by those living in the good ol’ US of A. Maybe this means people are realizing the value of space exploration. Why?
Because science is amazing. And because this:

As Neil deGrasse Tyson said on Twitter:

[Image Text: The day we stop exploring is the day we commit ourselves to live in a stagnant world, devoid of curiosity, empty of dreams.]
Stay curious, my friends.

Wait… WHAT ISN’T NASA TELLING US?!

On a related note, I was thrilled to see NASA’s website crash last night with the Mars Curiosity landing, and the multiple postings on Facebook profiles by those living in the good ol’ US of A. Maybe this means people are realizing the value of space exploration. Why?

Because science is amazing. And because this:

As Neil deGrasse Tyson said on Twitter:

[Image Text: The day we stop exploring is the day we commit ourselves to live in a stagnant world, devoid of curiosity, empty of dreams.]

Stay curious, my friends.

Filed under Twitter Mars Mars Curiosity Neil deGrasse Tyson Space Space exploration BAMF NASA science SCIENCE BITCHES!

67 notes

Intelligent, Condescending Life Discovered In Distant Galaxy

Aliens are dicks:

"We were extremely excited to have made contact with this highly advanced form of life, but it quickly became clear they’re pretty big jerks," said NASA scientist Raymond Morrison, referring frequently to a 24-page transcript of the interstellar transmission filled with patronizing language and backhanded compliments. "After telling us they hadn’t exactly been holding their breath waiting for us to figure out how to make contact with our ‘charmingly simplistic devices,’ they informed us they had studied our planet millennia ago but decided it was ‘too hopelessly primitive to be worthwhile.’"

According to NASA, the alien species described Earth’s 78-percent nitrogen atmosphere as a “decent start,” and said mankind had “come a long way in the past century, relatively speaking, considering it took [humans] a full 4 million years to walk upright.”

Actually, never mind. Maybe they’re right - we are quite primitive to each other.

Filed under The Onion Space is awesome lulz news space aliens satire

107 notes

This has been the image on my laptop desktop for months, and it’s also my message to Newt Gingrich and his moon colony… 
If you check out what he said on Thursday, his space policy seems to consist of finders-keepers and little more. 
We are running a huge deficit, yes. I’m not going to argue about government spending in this post. But I will ask one question - What would happen if Washington DC gridlock eased and the parties were focused more on governance versus winning re-election and fundraising?
Wouldn’t that be fantastic? 
I can dream, right?

This has been the image on my laptop desktop for months, and it’s also my message to Newt Gingrich and his moon colony… 

If you check out what he said on Thursday, his space policy seems to consist of finders-keepers and little more. 

We are running a huge deficit, yes. I’m not going to argue about government spending in this post. But I will ask one question - What would happen if Washington DC gridlock eased and the parties were focused more on governance versus winning re-election and fundraising?

Wouldn’t that be fantastic? 

I can dream, right?

Filed under Politics Space NASA galaxy truth Newt Gingrich Moon colony DC gridlock