Posts tagged The Onion
Posts tagged The Onion
CALDWELL, ID — Calling it a vital part of his daily routine, local man and utterly depraved masochist Richard Petrillo revealed to reporters Friday that he enjoys keeping up with the news.
And by clicking on this, you prove it.
The Onion’s CEO Steve Hanna issuing an apology to Quvenzhané Wallis for last night’s Oscar tweet calling her “kind of a cunt.”
It’s sadly refreshing that they didn’t try to justify it as say, satire that missed the mark or just a joke — as we’ve seen numerous comedians and media outlets do in the past. I say sadly because the sorry-not-sorry apology is more the norm.
Also, they address Wallis in the apology, not just their readership, and recognize that kind of statement is not satirical, it’s just disgusting — not to mention pretty inconsistent with The Onion we all know and love.
From The Onion's live election updates…
Oops. Sorry about that, folks. So, sex with marijuana plants? Or having sex while smoking marijuana? This is very important information, and being a number one journalist, I should find this out. </sarcasm>
Aliens are dicks:
"We were extremely excited to have made contact with this highly advanced form of life, but it quickly became clear they’re pretty big jerks," said NASA scientist Raymond Morrison, referring frequently to a 24-page transcript of the interstellar transmission filled with patronizing language and backhanded compliments. "After telling us they hadn’t exactly been holding their breath waiting for us to figure out how to make contact with our ‘charmingly simplistic devices,’ they informed us they had studied our planet millennia ago but decided it was ‘too hopelessly primitive to be worthwhile.’"
According to NASA, the alien species described Earth’s 78-percent nitrogen atmosphere as a “decent start,” and said mankind had “come a long way in the past century, relatively speaking, considering it took [humans] a full 4 million years to walk upright.”
Actually, never mind. Maybe they’re right - we are quite primitive to each other.
How exactly did you get elected?
A few thoughts. Jezebel writer Erin Gloria Ryan says:
Even if Fleming didn’t know The Onion is satire, he should have known that something was amiss when he actually read the article— if he actually read the article. Among the piece’s claims: Planned Parenthood’s new slogan is “No Life is Sacred,” the megamall style facility had a lazy river ride for patients, and, most improbably and hilarious, that Planned Parenthood somehow in magical abortion fairyland found a money tree that grew them enough money to give them $8 billion (about 8 times their entire annual budget) to spend on one megabortionmall.
Ryan misses one big point. She says if he read the article, it would be obvious satire. I argue that’s a maybe - this article seems to jive with the worst stereotypical vision of Planned Parenthood conservatives can imagine. They portray people seeking abortions as irresponsible, drug-consuming, heartless trollops. This article underscores that stereotype. Why not believe it’s true if it confirms what you believe?
Sometimes, you gotta check the logo to be sure.