Posts tagged Wait what?
Posts tagged Wait what?
Police say Carolee Bildsten, 56, attempted to strike a cop with a sex toy on Nov 9. The Gurnee, Ill. resident was confronted by an officer after allegedly walking out on her bill at a restaurant. The cop escorted her home to retrieve cash, and that’s when Bildsten reportedly whipped out a “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device” and approached the cop in a “threatening manner.” But Bildsten insists she was acting in self defense.
Read the rest of the story here. It’s exactly what you think.
This is a whole box of crazy right here…
Over the weekend, Cindy Jacobs of Generals International posted a new video prompted by the fact that, as a prophet, people have been asking her about the meaning behind the recent rash of bird deaths … to which she replied that it might be due to the fact that America is violating God’s prohibition on homosexuality with support for gay marriage and the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
Yeah, seriously. I think someone’s got a case of Pat Robertson envy.
A theater troupe has mounted a production of the Dickens classic ‘A Christmas Carol’ in Chicago, but this version is in Klingon, the language of the characters in Star Trek.
I kind of want to see this now.
A YOUNG Toowoomba man yesterday tied the knot with his best friend – a five-year-old labrador.
In perhaps a first for the Garden City, Laurel Bank Park hosted the wedding of Joseph Guiso and Honey, a labrador he adopted five years ago.
Thirty of the couple’s closest friends and family were in attendance for the emotional ceremony, held at dusk.
"You’re my best friend and you make every part of my day better," Mr Guiso’s vows read.
The couple decided on the location – and to tie the knot - after stumbling upon a wedding in Laurel Bank Park during an afternoon walk.
"I said that could be us," Mr Guiso said.
"She didn’t say anything so I took that as a yes."
Mr Guiso said as a “religious guy”, he could no longer take the guilt of living with Honey out of wedlock.
"It’s not sexual," he assured the onlookers.
"It’s just pure love."
The couple is planning a short honeymoon to one of Toowoomba’s parks.
Uh, what? Before any of the super-patriots on here start howling (pun totally intended), Australia does NOT have same-sex marriage, and besides, he’s religious so it’s all good right?
A Republican congressman hoping to chair the powerful House Energy Committee refers to the Bible and God on the issue of global warming.
Representative John Shimkus insists we shouldn’t concerned about the planet being destroyed because God promised Noah it wouldn’t happen again after the great flood.
Speaking before a House Energy Subcommittee on Energy and Environment hearing in March, 2009, Shimkus quoted Chapter 8, Verse 22 of the Book of Genesis.
He said: ‘As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, will never cease.’
Yeah, but did God pinky swear? If not, we’re fucked. I can’t believe these people get elected.
Hell hath no fury like a conservative scorned.
The Daily Caller reports what they call the “wonkiest, nerdiest Internet revenge ever.” Allow us to add “social conservative-iest” to that list of adjectives.
Todd Seavey and Helen Rittelmeyer, contributors to “Proud To Be Right,” a collection of essays written by “voices of the next conservative generation” and edited by Jonah Goldberg, appeared at a panel promoting the book this weekend. They sat next to each other, and Seavey’s critique of Rittelmeyer’s political philosophy turned into Seavey basically calling Rittelmeyer a two-timing cheat.
"It might come as a surprise to some of you that we dated for two years," Seavey said. "[Not because] we have ideological differences, but because there are probably some people in this room who also dated Helen during those two years, given how tumultuous it got."
Rittelmeyer tries her best to keep her cool as Seavey just unloads on her. There’s not much else to really say about this, except that once you start watching, you’ll have a hard time looking away.
The weirdness starts at 3:30.
Prostitution is holy or something. I don’t know. She’s currently in a flame war with my fiancé and I because we were defending rights for gay people. We thought she was nuts, but damn. According to what she’s told us, she’s the messiah, she hates gay people (but lesbians get a pass), and she “thinks differently than the jews.” She defends her bigotry by saying “Whats wrong with racial slurs? I like them! Its a great form of expression.” I seriously think she’s either the best troll in the universe, or legitimately mentally ill.
JESUS’ BAD BOOB JOB: When Misty, a prostitute who thinks she’s the Messiah, came into the studio, Howard commented that it was possible that many of her problems may just be in her head. As Misty said that she was born in Montana, Howard pointed out that she had a nice body and asked if he could see her naked. Although Misty agreed to the request, she revealed a set of fake breasts that Gary described as “the worst” he’d ever seen. After Howard mentioned that it looked like Misty’s chest was filled with “little rubber balls,” she responded that the surgery cost one blowjob. In addition to the implants, Gary also noted that Misty’s tattoos, as well as the nicotine patch on her back, wasn’t cutting it for him either. Misty, when asked about possible mental disorders, replied that Howard has made his career out of not conforming, so she didn’t understand why he was criticizing her for doing the same thing. However, Howard assured Misty that their histories weren’t the same, before asking her what psychological problems she has had in the past. Misty informed Howard that she has a Messiah complex. Despite her behavior, Howard acknowledged that he could see “why men would want to do her.”
FROM SAVIOR TO ACCOUNTANT Howard asked why she had pierced her lip. After Misty explained that she got the lip piercing because of her profession, she added that she’s “bled 850 days for the sins of man” and that she doesn’t pay taxes on the money she earns turning tricks. Misty charges $200 per encounter. Misty then reported that she made $40,000 last year hooking.
However, as Misty began talking about the time she repeatedly shot one of her johns with a bb-gun at his request, she changed the subject back to religion. Misty explained that, in her opinion, the Catholic Church was set up for “the fags.” Before Misty got into more details, though, Howard had her take off her pants. Upon seeing Misty’s entire body, Howard was surprised to learn that she had three kids. Misty told Howard that, while her youngest child resides with her, her parents and ex-boyfriend took her other two kids.
THREE’S NOT A CROWD Howard wondered if Misty talks as much as she was this morning when she’s with “a client.” Misty admitted that, although she usually “just does the guy,” some johns actually want to hear what she has to say. Misty then started crying when Howard told her that guys don’t want to hear her talk. When Howard explaineded that hearing her talking might be considered annoying, Misty noted that “a six-inch d*ck” annoys her. Misty went on to explain that if she had a husband, she wouldnt have to turn tricks. As Misty was talking, Howard wondered aloud if he’d have sex with her. Artie mentioned that he’d do Misty, but that the encounter would have to be a three-way because a security guard would have to be involved as well.
THE SYBIAN GETS A BREATHER A caller wanted to know if Misty has any super powers, which she said she does. However, before Misty was able to talk about her power – which she claimed is time traveler – Howard wanted to know if she’d be willing to get on the Sybian. Because of Misty’s strange behavior, though, Howard decided that putting her on the Sybian wouldn’t be a good idea.
LESS INK, MORE PINK After reporting that she’ll do anything with her johns except anal sex, Misty mentioned that she thinks all non-marital sex acts should cost men $200, regardless of the woman. Misty went on to explain that, if this practice was followed, more people would agree to get married in order to avoid paying the $200 charge for intercourse. Misty added that she plans on trying to find some customers while she’s in New York, but that she wasn’t sure how she’s going to go about it. Howard responded that Misty would be able to attract more clients if she didn’t have so many tattoos. Misty responded that she knew Howard didn’t like tattoos, so she wasn’t surprised at his reaction. However, Howard proceeded to showcase his own tattoos for Misty, before pointing out that he just didn’t like how many she had. Howard then told Misty that she seemed nice, but believed that she needed professional help.
HOWARD 100 GOES RELIGIOUS A caller suggested that Misty get her own show on Howard 100, an idea which Howard admitted intrigued him. Howard then had Misty come back into the studio to propose the program, which she accepted. Howard went on to warn Misty, that, if she did her own program, she wouldn’t be able to yell out the full names of anyone she was angry with the way she had done earlier in the interview. Misty promised Howard she’d have no trouble following that condition.
Tim Sabean entered the studio and told Howard that he could schedule “The Misty Show” for tonight at 7 o’clock, and that he also thought she should sit in for the next installment of “Meet the Shrink,” which will tape on Thursday. Because Misty noted that she planned on returning home on Wednesday, she said she’d contact her daughter’s nanny to see if she can stay an extra day for the show.
I need to learn not to click on bit.ly links. My friends are assholes. WTF is even going on here?
They Might be Giants tribute to Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
There was a new Family Guy where Brian goes conservative after reading Rush’s book. I’m confused and out of the loop, I guess. Should I watch the episode or not, Tumblrverse?
A video I made a few weeks ago. These girls stole a bunch of gnomes and now they’re locked in the city council chambers waiting for their rightful owners.
So, this is more from crazy anti-abortion guy.
I was torn between deleting him and not deleting him because of the crazy it provides. I already blocked him from commenting on my stuff, but then I saw this in my news feed. Within ten minutes of each other. Delete…
He tells people to respect each other all the time. Wait, what? Newsflash: Real men don’t hate.
You know, he was relatively normal in high school. Now, STFU.
Throwing my 2 cents into the comments on a mainstream site that picked up some of my work: “Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite” Fetish - Geekologie
(Click the photo for the original article and comments… maybe you can add a comment?)
Hiya! I’m the owner of Kink Engineering.
Yep, it’s really (actually) my full time job to design and build fun BDSM toys for kinky people who like rubber.
Since this is a pretty mainstream site, I am sure a lot of you are currently writing WTFs and OMGs like crazy. I don’t blame you. It’s odd stuff. But latex and BDSM are actually quite common. Lady Gaga is also making LOTS of new latex lovers every day with her videos, so don’t knock it too hard _trust me_ someone you know and like, loves something freaky like this.
Another interesting fact is that us total nut-jobs that do like latex bdsm toys are also pretty normal people in our every-day lives. Even the owner of this company (me) is a much more familiar type person than you would think… My employees and me watch reruns of Robot Chicken and Firefly in the workshop while building vacbeds and we even go as far as spoofing our favorite video games in our products…
Ever seen a Latex Weighted Companion Cube?
How about a lady sealed inside a D6?
Steam Punk Vacbed?
A real latex superhero?
We didn’t see those either… so we made them.
We made them because we thought it might be fun to try and we thought that the world needs more fun stuff. We’re total geeks and our particular avenue of contributing to the world is latex. So be it! Let the kink fun go forth!
And of course… yes, it was the Han Solo freezing scene that got me interested in the idea of a vacbed in the first place. So I guess Mr. Lucas is to blame if I am a certified psycho for liking the idea of a vacbed.
Are these things safe? The good news is that I am actually a trained engineer (it’s not just a business name, I have a masters degree in Mechanical Engineering) and I work very hard to make sure that the toys I sell are the safest on the market… it sure is possible for people to mis-use them… but we also trust our fellow citizens with guns, cars, and parenting, all of which have a much higher risk of damaging someone. Surprisingly, one of the most safety-conscious communities in the world is the BDSM community as people playing at sexy and sometimes edgy games know that trust and safety is a requirement of enjoyment.
Anyway… I’m in no way defending myself. We ARE weird people, and I don’t mind that some will comment negatively.
But… Deep down I’m pretty sure that EVERYONE is a weirdo in some way.
So, I’ll be here to make great toys for a particular set of weirdos… and maybe allow them to feel a little less weird by knowing that someone thinks their strange passion is worth the effort to focus on it and create around it.
If you are a weirdo too (in whatever way you feel strange) don’t let the world bully you… if you are not hurting someone else with your desires or fantasies… go for it! There’s lots of people out there who feel the same as you and will be happy to talk, play and explore the bizarre.
Life can be surreal if you let it. Surreal can be super fun!
Cheers,Matt - Owner and Designer - Kink Engineering custom latex products
Want to try making latex stuff for yourself? Get a kit at www.sheetlatex.com and start making your own latex clothes today!
Huh…things that exist…
*paging David Vitter*
that’s poetry right there.
fuck. this might be the most beautiful thing ever.
Is it wrong that the first thing I noticed is that “whenever” is misspelled?
So I posted the worship pic below, and then I got the auto-bot response on Twitter.
This literally made my night. I’m sooo into worship. I think I’ll start my own cult.