Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged awesomeness

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Before class, several guys discussed Sandra Fluke, contraception, and Rush Limbaugh

And then this happened…

  • Guy #1: I don’t get what that Flake bitch was all pissed about. 
  • Guy #2: Why?
  • Guy #1: Her lesbian friend supposedly lost an ovary. So? She’s got two, and it’s not like a lesbo is using them anyhow. Like I want to pay for girls to be sluts if it’s not with me, dude.
  • Me: Fucking really?
  • Guy #2: Uh, yeah. Why?
  • Me: Would you give up your left nut? I assume you have two and it’s not like an asshole like yourself is using them anyhow. [His buddies laugh]
  • Guy #1: Chill, bitch, I’m joking.
  • Guy #2: You went to the Rush Limbaugh school of funny, didn’t you? Because you’re not funny, dude. Say you’re sorry to the girls around us. 
  • Guy #1: [Laughs] Real men don’t apologize.
  • Guy #2: Watch. [Turns to face several women, including me] “I’m sorry I’m a socially awkward prick who can’t find my dick with both hands. You are completely right. I’m not using my balls because I don’t have any.” See? That’s how you do it. Now do it or shut your fucking mouth. Shit, dude, you’re the reason none of us get laid.
  • Guy #1:
  • Me: [Laughing so hard I’m almost crying]

(H/t to Amanda for letting me listen to her tape recorder so I could get this fuckery right.)

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under Contraception Sandra Fluke University of Wyoming politics birth control fuckery misogyny misogynist awesomeness

695 notes

Bad Language American History: The Boston Tea Party, 1773

Sweet chocolate Jeebus! This is a wondrous creation!



These stupid assholes in England were all, “We’re gonna tax your tea.”

America was all, “Fuck you. We didn’t say you could do that.”

England goes, “We can do whatever we want, bitch.”

America was like, “You’re the bitch, bitch. Get that shit out of Boston.”

England’s all, “Fuck off.”

America’s all, “This shit is ON!”

Then there was a war.

new tea party goes like this:

george bush tanked the economy and took all of our money creating unnecessary wars. he was all, ‘you’re all too fucking stupid to figure out what i’m doing.’

then a liberal took over and the rich white people got PISSED and were like, ‘fuck you, go back to kenya.’

and obama was all, ‘no buddy, fuck you. i just lowered your taxes.’

Filed under Sweet Jeebus Tea Party Hilarity awesomeness

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OMG! LOVES! LOVES! Jack Black makes an awesome Jesus. 



Prop 8: The Musical with Jack Black, John C. Reilly and many more

In celebration of Prop 8 being overturned, we revisit Prop 8: The Musical.

Even though you can’t run out and elope yet, you crazy, young, head-over-heels, gay and lesbian kids, its is something to remark.  But now you Cali-fornicators have to get out there and change public opinion.  Get your cameras out engage in discussions and show how reasonable discussion can over-power knee jerk hate.  Cooler heads will prevail!

Filed under prop H8 prop 8 Religion awesomeness amazing sauce LOVE! Equality same-sex marriage STFU