Posts tagged children
Posts tagged children
Parenting: You’re doing it right.
I got a gift certificate for food at a local restaurant today. Having walked several miles after eating just a small bowl of shredded wheat, I booked it there and was eating a delicious plate of chicken teriyaki. A little girl waved at me from the table in front of me, and I waved back. Her mother tapped her hand and said, “Don’t wave at strangers.”
The little girl asked why, and said she waved because I was eating by myself and not with my family. Instead of answering with something like “Maybe her family doesn’t live here” or “Because she wants to”, Mama Bear answers, “Maybe she isn’t lucky enough to have a family that loves her like you do, or maybe her family is mad at her for asking too many questions and not eating her dinner.” I rolled my eyes.
The girl replied, “That’s sad mommy,” and contemplated this for a second. She then looked at me and shouted, loud enough for the entire place to hear, “I’M SORRY YOU DON’T HAVE A FAMILY MRS PERSON!”
I thought her mother was going to die of embarrassment. Give your kids a bullshit, half-insulting answer, expect them to make sure your ass ends up mortified.
Bravo, wee one. Bravo.
And my mom clicked “like” on my comment.
This is why my mom is the best mom.
Police in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, say a 12-year-old boy armed with a BB gun robbed a local lemonade stand being run by a group of younger boys.
According to Johnstown Sgt. Patrick Goggin, the preteen approached the stand and pointed a gun at a 10-year-old boy, threatening to shoot if the other boys didn’t hand over the money they had earned selling lemonade.
A scuffle ensued, but the suspect still managed to make away with a money box containing some $30.
If only there had been a good guy with a gun, amirite? In all seriousness, the kid with the BB gun could have been in danger had an adult with a gun been nearby or the police a little more trigger happy…
The best comment about kids in bars ever, courtesy of Greer Phillips, on the article, “Beer Halls Give Last Call to Baby-Friendly Drinking Scene”
Seriously, I’ve noticed this with people my age (I’m 29) and I’m just not digging the whole sharing the bar scene with baby thing. Bars in Laramie are pretty strict about the under-21 set being banned from bars except for infants for some reason. I understand a bar and grill, or even early evening in bars, but bars in a college town on Saturday nights at 11PM? Eh, no. There’s some spaces I enjoy kid-free. Greer gets it.
Rebloggable by request!
First off, you are looking for “you’re” – as in “you are.” Check out Learn Your Damn Homophones for a marvelous, easy to understand explanation.
Second, no. Unless you know something I don’t know, my son has no clue I talk about him like that because I have no kids. Not unless you’re talking about my cats, in which case, yes. They know. If you’re talking about the little blonde kiddo below, as the caption explained, that’s my nephew. Charlie is delightful, until he’s not. Then he goes back to mom and dad. Charlie told me all about shoes, and green, and Elmo over Thanksgiving. He also gave me high-fives and a cold.
Third, I think it’s pretty goddamn not-selfish to acknowledge that even if many of my friends have kids, they’re not for me at the moment. I can barely feed myself some days, either due to a lack of funds, time, or both. My kids would be screwed. Don’t give me any of this “but once you have kids you’ll change your mind” bullshit. It’s a new life with 18+ years of responsibilities, not a fucking game of probability with which I wish to be that cavalier.
My husband and cats are enough for me. What would be selfish is to bring a life into the world just because judgmental asshats like yourself say I should want to, or else be labeled a selfish cunt. I’d rather be a selfish cunt versus someone’s mother. If I’m such a terrible person, do you really want me procreating at the moment? I use birth control for a reason. And hey, maybe we’ll want kids in the future.
Before anyone accuses me of it, I don’t hate kids. It’s their parents I usually find insufferable.
P.S. — Related post here.
Ever have one of those moments where you truly can’t help yourself?
That would be one of mine above. Background on Mittens being the Grinch that stole Halloween here. I’ve talked to several of my friends with kids about this. They’re worried that they won’t be able to take their kids, so parents are now trying to organize a group or something. I’ve seen several adults dismissing this as not a big deal, BECAUSE ZOMG ROMNEY IT’S JUST TRICK-OR-TREAT, but that’s bullshit for two big reasons:
This is a nightmare for single parents without much support. Pretty much everyone I’ve talked to who is a single parent has asked someone to take their kid(s) and gotten a no. Seriously, I don’t know that I’d say yes — kids are extremely hyper on Halloween. But I’d probably make an exception. Further, the new day falls smack in the middle of K-5 parent-teacher conferences. As one of my friends wrote, “How in the hell can I be in two places at once?”
This might not be a big deal to some adults, but to a kid, THIS IS A HUGE GODDAMN DEAL. Remember trick-or-treating? It’s one of the biggest thrills of the year, especially if you’re a working class kiddo living in suburbia. One of my friends told her daughter they might not go. She’s seven and cried herself to sleep in the living room. She was supposed to go with her friends, dressed as Disney princesses, and my friend was going to dress as the Fairy Godmother and take them. Try finding someone to take five seven-year-old girls trick-or-treating. No really. Try it.
After listening to my friends with kids stress out over this, it just pisses me off more that Romney is coming just because The Washington Post ran a feature on how the bailout saved Defiance. Another one of my friends wrote, “That is what I’m sayin!! He is just coming to do ‘damage control’ for his campaign here. Otherwise Defiance wouldn’t even be a speck on the map to him.”
So yeah. I couldn’t help myself when this smug sanctimommy with cutsey-named kids just HAD to share with the newspaper.