Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged facepalm

235 notes

A Christian UW student asks a Tibetan Buddhist monk questions. Enlightenment does not ensue.

Student:
Do you speak English?
Monk:
Yes. Not good, but I try.
Student:
Where are you from?
Monk:
Tibet. But we are exiles and are in India now. Too dangerous for Buddhist to stay.
Student:
Buddhists? Like Buddha? Do you all believe in Jesus then?
Monk:
I believe in everyone.
Student:
No, but do you believe-believe in Jesus?
Monk:
*smiles* I believe-believe in everyone. Even you.
Student:
Huh?

Filed under buddha university of wyoming wyoming udub facepalm buddhist jesus

336 notes

In news that’s not The Onion, on the one-month anniversary of the Sandy Hook massacre, the NRA  released a brand-new iOS game called “NRA: Practice Range,” which is available for free on the iPhone and iPad. The game is rated for ages four and up. 

Seriously. 

It’s described as “a 3D shooting game that instills safe and responsible ownership through fun challenges and realistic simulations. It strikes the right balance of gaming and safety education.” 

Oh, but remember this gem:

“But is that what it really is? Isn’t fantasizing about killing people as a way to get your kicks really the filthiest form of pornography?
…
A child growing up in America witnesses 16,000 murders and 200,000 acts of violence by the time he or she reaches the ripe old age of 18.” 

That was NRA spokesman Wayne LaPierre at a Dec. 21, 2012 press conference blaming violent media and video games for causing mass shootings like Sandy Hook. Essentially, after spending the past month blaming shooting games for mass shootings, the NRA released a target shooting game for those aged 4+ on the one-month anniversary of one of the worst mass shootings in America that claimed the lives of 27 people, including 20 children.

Still with me?

According to  Kotaku, the game has three modes, and in all of them “you get to pick a weapon and use it to shoot moving targets. You can use handguns and shotguns. You can also buy an AK47 assault rifle for just $0.99, which is a very good deal for an AK47 assault rifle. Other weapons, like an MK11 sniper rifle, also cost $0.99 each.”

But it’s not just shootin’, it’s learnin’! Kotaku continues: “And then there is the best part. As you play NRA: Practice Range, you’ll see NRA Fun Facts™ like ‘The NRA sanctions or sponsors over 11,000 shooting competitions and 50 shooting championships each year!’ and ‘NRA programs train over 750,000 gun owners each year!’ These NRA Fun Facts™ are also free and available to kids ages four and up.”

So that makes it okay, amirite? /sarcasm

In news that’s not The Onion, on the one-month anniversary of the Sandy Hook massacre, the NRA released a brand-new iOS game called “NRA: Practice Range,” which is available for free on the iPhone and iPad. The game is rated for ages four and up.

Seriously.

It’s described as “a 3D shooting game that instills safe and responsible ownership through fun challenges and realistic simulations. It strikes the right balance of gaming and safety education.”

Oh, but remember this gem:

“But is that what it really is? Isn’t fantasizing about killing people as a way to get your kicks really the filthiest form of pornography?

A child growing up in America witnesses 16,000 murders and 200,000 acts of violence by the time he or she reaches the ripe old age of 18.”

That was NRA spokesman Wayne LaPierre at a Dec. 21, 2012 press conference blaming violent media and video games for causing mass shootings like Sandy Hook. Essentially, after spending the past month blaming shooting games for mass shootings, the NRA released a target shooting game for those aged 4+ on the one-month anniversary of one of the worst mass shootings in America that claimed the lives of 27 people, including 20 children.

Still with me?

According to Kotaku, the game has three modes, and in all of them “you get to pick a weapon and use it to shoot moving targets. You can use handguns and shotguns. You can also buy an AK47 assault rifle for just $0.99, which is a very good deal for an AK47 assault rifle. Other weapons, like an MK11 sniper rifle, also cost $0.99 each.”

But it’s not just shootin’, it’s learnin’! Kotaku continues: “And then there is the best part. As you play NRA: Practice Range, you’ll see NRA Fun Facts™ like ‘The NRA sanctions or sponsors over 11,000 shooting competitions and 50 shooting championships each year!’ and ‘NRA programs train over 750,000 gun owners each year!’ These NRA Fun Facts™ are also free and available to kids ages four and up.”

So that makes it okay, amirite? /sarcasm

Filed under NRA guns gun control Wayne LaPierre politics are you fucking kidding me? video games iOS seriously facepalm jfc

650 notes

I think it’s safe to say Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear is not a fan of Mitt the Twit.

London, and the British in general, did not take too kindly to Mitt’s swipes at the UK’s preparedness for the Olympics, culminating in this:

London Mayor Boris Johnson slapped back in very public fashion during a massive pre-Games rally. “There’s a guy called Mitt Romney who wants to know if London is ready,” he cried, prompting the 60,000-person crowd to jeer the candidate’s name. “Are we ready?”

Star sprinter Carl Lewis, who won 10 Olympic medals in his career for the U.S., appraised Mitt Romney’s Mittens Romneyshambles' performance thusly: “I swear, sometimes I think some Americans shouldn’t leave the country. Are you kidding me, stay home if you don’t know what to say.”

*sigh*

Indeed. I bet Mitt wishes he could cancel his visit. Retroactively, of course.

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under Jeremy Clarkson Top Gear Mitt Romney Olympics politics scumbag Mitt Mittens Romneyshambles UK London facepalm seriously republican retroactively GOP Election 2012

13 notes

And this gem comes to us from Ken McCauley on the Wyoming Progressives page. As Ken writes:

Steve Bray (R) is apparently running for the Wyoming ASSEMBLY. According to the Wyoming Constitution, (Article 3) ‘the legislature of the State of Wyoming’ consists of ‘a senate and a house of representatives.’ Help me out historians, when was the last time The Wyoming government was called an assembly, 1888’s Wyoming Territorial Assembly?”

I got this. From the Wyoming Legislature’s website:

"In 1890, there were two legislative sessions held. The Eleventh, which was the last Territorial Legislative Assembly, convened January 14, 1890 and adjourned March 14, 1890. The first State Legislature convened November 12, 1890 and adjourned January 10, 1891.”

Long story short, there is no State Assembly in Wyoming. 

Emphasis mine. Protip for life, kids: If you’re going to run for office, it’s helpful to know what the office is, and in which capacity you’ll be serving, i.e. the correct name of the legislative body. Perhaps he forgot he was running for state house, and chose assembly. Y’know, a few too many at a rodeo weekend, and crazy things happen.
Either that, or Steve Bray is convening a one-man assembly. I imagine they’ll he’ll be holding meetings in a cabin in the woods. He and the trees will talk about Agenda 21, which is “an insidious, step-by-step, process that has found its way into federal, state, and local government” according to Steve and other — er — interesting folks.
He’s also running to protect family values. Why? Because reasons, hippies, and the sixties. Bray writes, “Since our society deviated from the family unit, most notably in the sixties, teen pregnancies, suicides, abortions, sexually transmitted diseases, among others, have all gone up.”
I really just don’t know what to say here, other than I sort of hope he wins. His opponent, Steve Harshman, is ridiculously conservative, and barring a write-in on the Democratic side, the primary ends the race for District 37. I just think Bray might be entertaining as hell. Imagine his shock IF he wins and discovers he’s been elected to the legislature, not the assembly! I bet he’ll feel so cheated. 

And this gem comes to us from Ken McCauley on the Wyoming Progressives page. As Ken writes:

Steve Bray (R) is apparently running for the Wyoming ASSEMBLY. According to the Wyoming Constitution, (Article 3) ‘the legislature of the State of Wyoming’ consists of ‘a senate and a house of representatives.’ Help me out historians, when was the last time The Wyoming government was called an assembly, 1888’s Wyoming Territorial Assembly?”

I got this. From the Wyoming Legislature’s website:

"In 1890, there were two legislative sessions held. The Eleventh, which was the last Territorial Legislative Assembly, convened January 14, 1890 and adjourned March 14, 1890. The first State Legislature convened November 12, 1890 and adjourned January 10, 1891.”

Long story short, there is no State Assembly in Wyoming. 

Emphasis mine. Protip for life, kids: If you’re going to run for office, it’s helpful to know what the office is, and in which capacity you’ll be serving, i.e. the correct name of the legislative body. Perhaps he forgot he was running for state house, and chose assembly. Y’know, a few too many at a rodeo weekend, and crazy things happen.

Either that, or Steve Bray is convening a one-man assembly. I imagine they’ll he’ll be holding meetings in a cabin in the woods. He and the trees will talk about Agenda 21, which is “an insidious, step-by-step, process that has found its way into federal, state, and local government” according to Steve and other — er — interesting folks.

He’s also running to protect family values. Why? Because reasons, hippies, and the sixties. Bray writes, “Since our society deviated from the family unit, most notably in the sixties, teen pregnancies, suicides, abortions, sexually transmitted diseases, among others, have all gone up.”

I really just don’t know what to say here, other than I sort of hope he wins. His opponent, Steve Harshman, is ridiculously conservative, and barring a write-in on the Democratic side, the primary ends the race for District 37. I just think Bray might be entertaining as hell. Imagine his shock IF he wins and discovers he’s been elected to the legislature, not the assembly! I bet he’ll feel so cheated. 

Filed under Steve Bray Wyoming Conservative Politics GOP District 37 better know a Wyoming district this isn't the office you are looking for FAIL history fail facepalm Republican lulz hippies family values I can't dying

82 notes

From my pal, Charles Pelkey. He writes: “Apparently the ‘news’ crew at Fox was so eager to announce the Supremes’ rejection of the mandate that they forgot to read past the first page of the decision.”
Facepalm of the year? Quite possibly.

However, as ThinkProgress reports, the viral aspect of Twitter means Huffington Post, CNN, TIME, and NPR ALSO got it wrong. TIME and NPR both sourced CNN. And like HuffPo sources their info…

From my pal, Charles Pelkey. He writes: “Apparently the ‘news’ crew at Fox was so eager to announce the Supremes’ rejection of the mandate that they forgot to read past the first page of the decision.”

Facepalm of the year? Quite possibly.

However, as ThinkProgress reports, the viral aspect of Twitter means Huffington Post, CNN, TIME, and NPR ALSO got it wrong. TIME and NPR both sourced CNN. And like HuffPo sources their info…

Filed under Fox News Healthcare ACA Obamacare news media fail facepalm Fox CNN

86 notes

Rick Santorum Denies He’s Ever Even Mentioned Contraception

Seriously. He really said he has not mentioned contraception during his campaign.

Remember this, Rick?

"One of the things I will talk about that no president has talked about before is the dangers of contraception in this country." — Rick Santorum, October 2011

And this? Ooh, there’s this too. And all those debates, Rick? Let me guess — it wasn’t you, it was the sweater vest. That nefarious sweater vest of methodical, woolly chicanery… Tsk tsk, Rick.

I am too tired for this fuckery. Jezebel has the money shot:

Rick Santorum went on MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning where Joe Scarborough asked him if he regrets bringing the issue of contraception into his campaign. Rickles got flustered and turned pissy fast. He said, “I’ve never had any record or anything about talking about access to contraception.”

Wait… found some responses:

Oh, and this one:

Ooh, one more:

Yes, Rick. You did mention contraception a few times, and you are a lying oxygen thief. That is all.

Filed under Rick Santorum fuckery politics contraception GOP are you fucking kidding me? Republican Republicans seriously reproductive rights facepalm liar lying

95 notes

cognitivedissonance:

From the “It’s not The Onion” files:

Yes, that’s right, the “new and improved” Susan G. Komen for the Cure now has partnered with the manufacturers of Smith and Wesson, the largest manufacturer of handguns in the U.S., to produce the Walther P-22 Hope Edition handgun in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Breast cancer is a terrible thing. It kills an estimated 41,000 people (yes, a small fraction of its victims are men) annually. Gun violence in America kills 10,000 people a year. What better partnership could there be?
Oh, and by the way, the pink Walther P-22 “Hope Edition” (Hope… Really, as in, “I hope I kill you?” Seriously?) can be yours for the low price of $429.99. Get them while they last.

The New Civil Rights Movement has more here. 
Their next partnership should be with the N.R.A. because it could lend itself to all kinds of slogans. How about “Susan G. Komen and the N.R.A. - Arming women to shoot cancer IN THE FREAKIN’ FACE!”
So maybe that’s a little long. But you get the idea.
The “hope” edition handgun… I can’t even…


The plot thickens. Susan G. Komen is now claiming the partnership never existed, yet employees of the retailer claim the guns have been sold for quite awhile and are a popular product.
With Komen’s reputation for truthfulness lately, it’s plausible the partnership existed in some way, and now it’s damage control time. From CBS:

Employees at three of DGS’ 10 locations said they sold the pink gun. An employee at the Bothell, Washington, store said the guns are “popular” and said he took an order “not too long ago” and that DGS had been selling them for at least two years.
Another employee at a Bellview, Washington, gun store said the store had been taking orders “sporadically.” He also said they had been selling the guns since he started working that store a couple of years ago.
The $400 million charity is famous for its marketing prowess and partnerships. The organization has successfully convinced the entire NFL to accent their uniforms with pink during October, breast cancer awareness month. It is difficult to turn around without seeing a pink ribbon on a cereal box or on a car bumper.

cognitivedissonance:

From the “It’s not The Onion” files:

Yes, that’s right, the “new and improved” Susan G. Komen for the Cure now has partnered with the manufacturers of Smith and Wesson, the largest manufacturer of handguns in the U.S., to produce the Walther P-22 Hope Edition handgun in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Breast cancer is a terrible thing. It kills an estimated 41,000 people (yes, a small fraction of its victims are men) annually. Gun violence in America kills 10,000 people a year. What better partnership could there be?

Oh, and by the way, the pink Walther P-22 “Hope Edition” (Hope… Really, as in, “I hope I kill you?” Seriously?) can be yours for the low price of $429.99. Get them while they last.

The New Civil Rights Movement has more here

Their next partnership should be with the N.R.A. because it could lend itself to all kinds of slogans. How about “Susan G. Komen and the N.R.A. - Arming women to shoot cancer IN THE FREAKIN’ FACE!”

So maybe that’s a little long. But you get the idea.

The “hope” edition handgun… I can’t even…

The plot thickens. Susan G. Komen is now claiming the partnership never existed, yet employees of the retailer claim the guns have been sold for quite awhile and are a popular product.

With Komen’s reputation for truthfulness lately, it’s plausible the partnership existed in some way, and now it’s damage control time. From CBS:

Employees at three of DGS’ 10 locations said they sold the pink gun. An employee at the Bothell, Washington, store said the guns are “popular” and said he took an order “not too long ago” and that DGS had been selling them for at least two years.

Another employee at a Bellview, Washington, gun store said the store had been taking orders “sporadically.” He also said they had been selling the guns since he started working that store a couple of years ago.

The $400 million charity is famous for its marketing prowess and partnerships. The organization has successfully convinced the entire NFL to accent their uniforms with pink during October, breast cancer awareness month. It is difficult to turn around without seeing a pink ribbon on a cereal box or on a car bumper.

Filed under Susan G. Komen gun politics Second Amendment Seriously Really? Pink everything Facepalm for fuck's sake

95 notes

From the “It’s not The Onion" files:

Yes, that’s right, the “new and improved” Susan G. Komen for the Cure now has partnered with the manufacturers of Smith and Wesson, the largest manufacturer of handguns in the U.S., to produce the Walther P-22 Hope Edition handgun in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Breast cancer is a terrible thing. It kills an estimated 41,000 people (yes, a small fraction of its victims are men) annually. Gun violence in America kills 10,000 people a year. What better partnership could there be?
Oh, and by the way, the pink Walther P-22 “Hope Edition” (Hope… Really, as in, “I hope I kill you?” Seriously?) can be yours for the low price of $429.99. Get them while they last.

The New Civil Rights Movement has more here. 
Their next partnership should be with the N.R.A. because it could lend itself to all kinds of slogans. How about “Susan G. Komen and the N.R.A. - Arming women to shoot cancer IN THE FREAKIN’ FACE!”
So maybe that’s a little long. But you get the idea.
The “hope” edition handgun… I can’t even…

From the “It’s not The Onion" files:

Yes, that’s right, the “new and improved” Susan G. Komen for the Cure now has partnered with the manufacturers of Smith and Wesson, the largest manufacturer of handguns in the U.S., to produce the Walther P-22 Hope Edition handgun in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Breast cancer is a terrible thing. It kills an estimated 41,000 people (yes, a small fraction of its victims are men) annually. Gun violence in America kills 10,000 people a year. What better partnership could there be?

Oh, and by the way, the pink Walther P-22 “Hope Edition” (Hope… Really, as in, “I hope I kill you?” Seriously?) can be yours for the low price of $429.99. Get them while they last.

The New Civil Rights Movement has more here

Their next partnership should be with the N.R.A. because it could lend itself to all kinds of slogans. How about “Susan G. Komen and the N.R.A. - Arming women to shoot cancer IN THE FREAKIN’ FACE!”

So maybe that’s a little long. But you get the idea.

The “hope” edition handgun… I can’t even…

Filed under Susan G. Komen gun politics Second Amendment Seriously Really? Pink everything Facepalm for fuck's sake

11 notes

lindsey10feettall submitted:
Bingo! I had to stretch a little bit since they didn’t specifically say “illegals”, but I figured they mentioned “illegal immigrants” enough for me to count it. 
And I also managed to get through the debate without chucking something at the television! It was difficult though, I had to sit on my hands and just yell strings of expletives. 
Good on you! I know it was tough. Sad that my bingo card for an unrelated debate on a different topic still gets you bingos. Thanks for sending it in!

lindsey10feettall submitted:

Bingo! I had to stretch a little bit since they didn’t specifically say “illegals”, but I figured they mentioned “illegal immigrants” enough for me to count it. 

And I also managed to get through the debate without chucking something at the television! It was difficult though, I had to sit on my hands and just yell strings of expletives. 

Good on you! I know it was tough. Sad that my bingo card for an unrelated debate on a different topic still gets you bingos. Thanks for sending it in!

Filed under Bingo GOPdebate republicans republican facepalm Iowa Debate Fox News Fox News Debate submission

206 notes

Michelle Malkin makes the claim that Occupy Wall Street is 99% white. It hurts my irony bone for someone on Fox News to criticize a social movement for being “99% white.” It hurts real bad.
According to Malkin:

"The protesters have taken to calling themselves the ‘99 percent’ in the country, labeling the capitalists they wish to remove from power the other ‘1 percent.’ When Occupy Wall Street activists call themselves the ‘99 percent,’ it turns out they mean 99 percent non-diverse (by their own politically correct measurements). It’s as pale out there at Camp Alinsky as MSNBC’s prime-time lineup or the New York Times editorial board.  Not counting the cameos by Jesse Jackson and Cornel West, that is.”

Uh-huh… love the photo choice showing a rather diverse crowd, Fox Nation. I don’t need to debunk your claim since you, um, did it yourselves.
Bravo.

h/t to Media Matters

Michelle Malkin makes the claim that Occupy Wall Street is 99% white. It hurts my irony bone for someone on Fox News to criticize a social movement for being “99% white.” It hurts real bad.

According to Malkin:

"The protesters have taken to calling themselves the ‘99 percent’ in the country, labeling the capitalists they wish to remove from power the other ‘1 percent.’ When Occupy Wall Street activists call themselves the ‘99 percent,’ it turns out they mean 99 percent non-diverse (by their own politically correct measurements). It’s as pale out there at Camp Alinsky as MSNBC’s prime-time lineup or the New York Times editorial board. Not counting the cameos by Jesse Jackson and Cornel West, that is.”

Uh-huh… love the photo choice showing a rather diverse crowd, Fox Nation. I don’t need to debunk your claim since you, um, did it yourselves.

Bravo.

h/t to Media Matters

Filed under Occupy Wall Street Fox Nation politics race Michelle Malkin Fox News fail facepalm diversity

45 notes

Republican women fight every day for the women who can’t start a business because of burdensome taxes and regulations, for the women who worry that we are capping their children’s future and trading it to China in exchange for cheap loans, for the women who deserve to make their own health-care choices and for this year’s young women graduates who are entering a job market stagnated by Washington-driven uncertainty. It’s disappointing that Democrats would rather call names and use such divisive language than find areas where we can work together on behalf of American women and families.

Republican congresswomen responding in an open letter to DNC Chair Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz who said it’s difficult to understand how the GOP can be so “anti-woman.” 

I put one statement in bold because it’s rather telling: There are some women who deserve to make their own health care choices, and others who do not. Those who do not include women like me, who use Planned Parenthood as the main source for preventative care. Or women who seek an abortion, particularly after being raped - they should have thought ahead, much like carrying a spare tire in your car. It must also include elderly women who wish to have Medicare protected. Or how about single moms relying on Medicaid, CHIP, Free Clinics, and WIC to keep themselves and their children healthy - all programs on the chopping block - don’t they deserve to make their own health care choices? Without these services, many women are forced into having no choice or say in their health care, because they simply won’t receive any health care.

Let’s not even mention their non-support of the Lilly Ledbetter act, attempts to redefine rape, etc… Do they even pay attention to how ludicrous this letter sounds? Do they listen to themselves talk?

(Source: dailycaller.com)

Filed under Debbie Wasserman Schultz GOP democrat democrats facepalm politics republican republicans women women's rights Republicans would sell their own mothers for a political ad