Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged fuckery

38 notes

Dr. Phil Clarifies: He Was Just ASKING If You'd Bang a Drunk Girl

And then his apology the show’s apology, is delivered in a stilted, third-person fashion. Of course. 

Because it’s totally not offensive if you use the JEEZ, I WAS JUST ASKING defense. Not at all. </sarcasm>

Filed under Dr. Phil fuckery sex gender twitter

67 notes

Oklahoma Tea Party Founder Busted for Threats to Lawmaker Over 'Fringe' Agenda 21 Conspiracy

Well, well, well… Looks like threats of blackmail aren’t just the modus operandi of the Cody-Big Horn Basin Tea Party:

The founder of a tea party group in Oklahoma was charged with two felonies on Tuesday for allegedly sending threatening emails to a Republican lawmaker after he refused buy in to the notion that the United Nations was conspiring to transform the country into a communist dictatorship.

According to the Oklahoman, 54-year-old Sooner Tea Party founder Al Gerhart faces up to five years in prison for blackmail and violating the state computer crimes act.

The Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation determined that Gerhart admitted sending an email to state Sen. Cliff Branan (R) “that was intended to threaten and intimidate him.” Gerhart had been angry because Branan refused to allow a vote on a bill that would have ensured Oklahoma cities do not participate in Agenda 21, a United Nations initiative to promote environmentally sustainable development…

“Branan, Get that bill heard or I will make sure you regret not doing it,” Gerhart wrote in the email. “I will make you the laughing stock of the Senate if I don’t hear that this bill will be heard and passed. We will dig into your past, yoru [sic] family, your associates and once we start on you there will be no end to it. This is a promise.”

At a press conference last week, the tea party leader admitted that he sent the email. “Political pain and embarrassment will be necessary if the citizens expect to regain control of this Senate down here from the state chamber of commerce and special interests,” he insisted. “The time for ‘nice’ behavior is over with.”

As my dear husband remarked after I informed him of this story, “Same shit, different zip code.”

Filed under Tea Party Politics Blackmail Oklahoma crime Republican Agenda 21 Al Gerhart fuckery

863 notes

Save the Rich: “Papa” John Schnatter Edition

"Papa" John Schnatter, Papa John’s founder and CEO, is back in the headlines once more for his assertion that there’s no way on God’s green Earth he can afford to provide health care for a portion of his employees, as mandated by the Affordable Care Act. Now, Schnatter hasn’t been hurting for cash. As Brian Warner writes:

When Papa John Schnatter hosted a fundraiser for Mitt Romney earlier this year, the Republican candidate began his remarks by saying: “Who would’ve imagined pizza could build this? This is really something. Don’t you love this country? What a home this is, what grounds these are, the pool, the golf course…. This is a real tribute to America, to entrepreneurship.” If your house impresses Mitt Romney, the ultimate one percenter, you know it must be pretty awesome. To start, John Schnatter’s 40,000 square foot castle is located in a wealthy country club suburb of Louisville, Kentucky. The property is spread out over a 16 acre estate and as Romney mentioned, features several swimming pools, a private lake and a golf course.

But who knows what’s going to happen now that the health care mandate could supposedly cost him $0.15 a pizza?! Schnatter claims the costs will be $5-8 million per year — though he had no trouble with giving away two million free pizzas this September that cost the company 24 to 32 million dollars

Maybe he was counting on Mitt Romney winning.

Anyhow, I’ve decided to take Garfunkel and Oats’ advice and save the rich, one wealthy CEO at a time. Joining me is easy. First, get an envelope and address it [click to zoom]:

Mine reads:
Papa John Schnatter
1904 Stone Gate Rd. <— (address listed for political fundraisers)
Louisville, KY 40223

Or you can send it to Papa John’s Corporate:

2002 Papa John’s Boulevard
Louisville, KY 40299 or

Papa John’s International, Inc.
P.O. Box 99900 
Louisville, KY 40269-9990

My letter [click to zoom]:

As I wrote, I may not be able to afford their overpriced pizza, but I can afford a nickel, a dime, and a stamp. I encourage folks to help save the rich and send Papa John some nickels and dimes to offset this gigantic burden, especially since it’s not financially feasible for him to survive without the extra few million. Apparently.

It’s the least we can do for folks working under such a selfish bastard. 

Cheers,

Meg

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under Papa John's John Schnatter Politics Obamacare Affordable Care Act Save the rich fuckery health care Pizza

132 notes

Unfortunately, a lot of young folks haven’t had the opportunity to really understand how the economy works, and what it takes to put people to work in real jobs, and why we have banks, and what banks do. It’s a very understandable sentiment. If you don’t find a job, and you can’t see rising incomes. You’re going to be angry and looking at someone to blame.

Mitt Romney to WBTV in Charlotte, N.C., discussing the protests at Bank of America.

Oh, we young people don’t understand “real jobs” and “what banks do,” yeah?

I argue we do. There’s a lot of us working two and three minimum wage jobs, going to school, graduating, barely surviving, or some combination of the above.

We’re consistently screwed by people like you, Mitt, who gambled with our parents’ retirement, who ensured most of us can never retire, who foreclosed on our families, who laid us off in the name of savings, who pissed away bailouts in executive bonuses and back slaps, as you grin in your expensive suits and tell us repeatedly that we DON’T GET how it works, as you reach into our back pockets for yet another checking account usage fee because we can’t keep a minimum balance, let me tell you…

WE GET IT.

We are fully proletarianized, working ourselves to the bone, paying the same tax rate as you, and praying to whatever is sacred that we do not get sick or injured because we are one paycheck or missed unemployment check away from completed ruin, while you and your cronies line up for another spin at the roulette wheel, your wallets fat from the products of our intellectual and physical labor.

FUCK YOU and your patronizing condescension. Fuck you with the all the fucks my exhausted self has left to give.

Filed under Mitt Romney politics economy Bank of America protest Republican GOP Election 2012 fuckery

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The ad above, launched by opponents of an Anchorage anti-discrimination ordinance, is possibly one of the worst ads of the political cycle thus far. Background from Alaska Dispatch:

Despite broad support from donors and a new poll that favors their position, backers of a proposal to protect gay and transgender people from discrimination in Anchorage remained on the offensive Tuesday, blasting new opposition ads they said could lead to a backlash against the LGBTQ community and their allies.

Prominent supporters of Yes on 5 — One Anchorage joined forces at a press conference and said they want the TV cartoon ads and their “offensive” characters — the most outrageous depicts a burly man in high heels who brings a complaint against a daycare provider for not hiring him — stricken from the airwaves. Click here and here to see some of the other depictions.

"The ads opposing Proposition 5 depict unacceptably offensive and intentionally stigmatizing and distorted cartoons of gay and transgender individuals," said former Gov. Tony Knowles. "Such dehumanizing stereotypes do not represent the values we share as a community."

Not going to happen, said Jim Minnery, head of opposition group Protect Your Rights — Vote No on 5. He called the ads effective and said calls for their removal are helping him raise money because people are offended at the effort to squelch free speech.

And then, if Minnery didn’t appear intolerant enough, he explained the ads would remain on-air out of concern. Really:

Jim Minnery said the ad points out that because “transgender” isn’t defined in the ordinance, a scenario like the one portrayed in the commercial could play out under the law.

"I think it’s a shocking flaw in Prop. 5 and shows profound disrespect to voters that the authors didn’t feel it was important to provide a definition of transgender identity," Minnery said… Since the law doesn’t define transgender, why couldn’t it include a cross-dressing man, Minnery asked.

His group’s concern, he said, is that without a clear definition of transgender, someone who considers himself to be a different gender could require a business to accommodate him.

In addition to the threat to religious freedom he says is posed by the proposed ordinance, it “creates a whole set of legal issues for the municipality.”

See, he’s just a professional concern-troll looking out for your wellbeing! Aren’t you grateful? </sarcasm>.

Actually, Minnery doesn’t care if the message is inaccurate, because the cartoon is meant to grab attention. His justification: “You kind of have to cut to the chase; you have 30 seconds.”

Yeah…

Filed under Jim Minnery Alaska Transphobic politics Prop 5 Anchorage Transgender GLBTQ Non-discrimination ordinance fuckery bigotry

86 notes

Rick Santorum Denies He’s Ever Even Mentioned Contraception

Seriously. He really said he has not mentioned contraception during his campaign.

Remember this, Rick?

"One of the things I will talk about that no president has talked about before is the dangers of contraception in this country." — Rick Santorum, October 2011

And this? Ooh, there’s this too. And all those debates, Rick? Let me guess — it wasn’t you, it was the sweater vest. That nefarious sweater vest of methodical, woolly chicanery… Tsk tsk, Rick.

I am too tired for this fuckery. Jezebel has the money shot:

Rick Santorum went on MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning where Joe Scarborough asked him if he regrets bringing the issue of contraception into his campaign. Rickles got flustered and turned pissy fast. He said, “I’ve never had any record or anything about talking about access to contraception.”

Wait… found some responses:

Oh, and this one:

Ooh, one more:

Yes, Rick. You did mention contraception a few times, and you are a lying oxygen thief. That is all.

Filed under Rick Santorum fuckery politics contraception GOP are you fucking kidding me? Republican Republicans seriously reproductive rights facepalm liar lying

332 notes

Before class, several guys discussed Sandra Fluke, contraception, and Rush Limbaugh

And then this happened…

  • Guy #1: I don’t get what that Flake bitch was all pissed about. 
  • Guy #2: Why?
  • Guy #1: Her lesbian friend supposedly lost an ovary. So? She’s got two, and it’s not like a lesbo is using them anyhow. Like I want to pay for girls to be sluts if it’s not with me, dude.
  • Me: Fucking really?
  • Guy #2: Uh, yeah. Why?
  • Me: Would you give up your left nut? I assume you have two and it’s not like an asshole like yourself is using them anyhow. [His buddies laugh]
  • Guy #1: Chill, bitch, I’m joking.
  • Guy #2: You went to the Rush Limbaugh school of funny, didn’t you? Because you’re not funny, dude. Say you’re sorry to the girls around us. 
  • Guy #1: [Laughs] Real men don’t apologize.
  • Guy #2: Watch. [Turns to face several women, including me] “I’m sorry I’m a socially awkward prick who can’t find my dick with both hands. You are completely right. I’m not using my balls because I don’t have any.” See? That’s how you do it. Now do it or shut your fucking mouth. Shit, dude, you’re the reason none of us get laid.
  • Guy #1:
  • Me: [Laughing so hard I’m almost crying]

(H/t to Amanda for letting me listen to her tape recorder so I could get this fuckery right.)

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under Contraception Sandra Fluke University of Wyoming politics birth control fuckery misogyny misogynist awesomeness

27 notes

I’m getting a lot of criticism from women about my shopping tips for men. Sexist. Crude. Dopey. One woman even wrote, misogynistic.

Unfair. Untrue. But this holiday season, I’m a giver, I’m not a hater.

So if I’ve offended some ladies, first off, calm down, Toots.

Neil Cavuto, defending his shopping tips for men and refuting the charge he’s a misogynist by calling women, “Toots.”

To be clear, here’s how he introduced the segment:

Yes, ladies. And I know it’s women who offer that snide criticism… so let me be clear. These tips are not for you. They’re for men. So if I sound sexist, get over it. Most of you have shopping in your blood. Most men would rather give blood than shop. Just the way it is, ladies. You don’t need these tips. Your significant others do.”

Here’s his full advice. Yes, I know he meant it as a joke. But it’s not even funny. Even when he’s not being sexist, the jokes are just outmoded and clichéd. It’s Cavuto giggling and essentially saying, “Hehe, women.” 

Is anyone shocked?

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Filed under Neil Cavuto Fox News misogynist misogyny shopping fuckery not amused anti-woman feminism sexism

181 notes

Gingrich: Laws preventing child labor are 'truly stupid'

Newt Gingrich proposed a plan Friday that would allow poor children to clean their schools for money, saying such a setup would both allow students to earn income and endow them with a strong work ethic.

Speaking at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, the former House Speaker said his system would be an improvement on current child labor laws, which he called “truly stupid.”

"I tried for years to have a very simple model. These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work; they’d have cash; they’d have pride in the schools. They’d begin the process of rising."

Yep. The GOP front-runner is saying child labor laws are truly stupid. We’ve officially hit a low.

Filed under Child labor Newt Gingrich politics GOP Republican republicans privilege Fuckery conservative conservatives

55 notes

Car Strikes 3 At Occupy D.C. Rally, Driver Not Cited

Washington, D.C., police said early Saturday that a driver will not be charged for striking three people taking part in an Occupy D.C. protest in downtown Washington.

Lt. Christopher Micciche of the D.C. police said the driver was not cited because he had a green light when his vehicle struck the three on Friday night.

I’ll remember that the next time a little old lady in the crosswalk doesn’t move fast enough… </sarcasm>

The standard of proof for a civil suit is a “preponderance of the evidence” versus “beyond a reasonable doubt” for a criminal prosecution. Essentially, this means the judge or jury could conclude it is more likely than not that the victim’s claims are true. Victims can pursue a civil lawsuit even if charges are not filed, criminal prosecution fails through dismissal, or results in a “not guilty” verdict.

There’s video out there with the driver’s license plate. The driver can be found.

The vehicle in question is a late-model silver Lexus sporting the Maryland license plate 8 AJ 8425. Don’t go all vigilante. But if you know the driver, pass the info along to Occupy DC with the suggestion of filing a civil suit. If you’re at the Americans for Prosperity conference, and you leave the parking garage in your luxury car, hit one person, then continue and hit two more, I’ll bet you have some cash to deal with the ‘problem.’

Just sayin’.

Filed under Occupy DC Outrage Politics protest injury police charges civil suit Washington D.C. fuckery economy injustice OWS Occupy Wall Street Occupy Everywhere

332 notes

You know, we have young people who are today occupying Wall Street, [saying] that there are some people out there that are making too much money. And if somebody were to ask me what’s the best advice that I could give them? It would be that money is probably the most highly overrated thing in the world from a standpoint of being happy with your life. It’s good to have some. Because I’ve been without and I’ve had some, and it’s better to have some.

But the fact is, uh, go find that passion in your life… what I’m saying here is that the vast majority of people don’t go do what they do in life with only the thought of ‘I’m gonna make some money.’

Rick Perry, speaking in Iowa on teachers, making money, and why the Occupy Wall Street folks just don’t have enough “passion.”

*Sigh* Fucking hell. 

Actually, you know what? That’s not true. I don’t hate the people freezing their asses off occupying Wall Street while Rick Perry sits in his ill-fitting suit of smug and remarks that money is overrated. It’s not about people having too much money. It’s about a significant amount of people not having any money in order to enrich a very small amount of those who already do.

Your pithy little admonishments to those at Occupy Wall Street to find their passion is completely and one hundred percent intellectually disingenuous. Many of those folks followed their passions, got a degree, and can’t find a goddamn job. They’re saddled with tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt after being told by snide little bastards like yourself to pursue that piece of paper representing their passion and employment prospects. My passion doesn’t pay the rent, and the utility companies don’t take passion as currency. 

Money is only irrelevant when you make a living wage and aren’t one missed paycheck away from homelessness. 

Fuck you with all the fucks I have left to give today.

Video:

(Source: rawstory.com)

Filed under Rick Perry Fuckery money Occupy Wall Street Fuck You Conservative conservatives GOP republican republicans Texas 2012 OWS poverty inequality injustice my rage is exponential income income inequality

44 notes

The epitome of heartlessness:

What the Costumes RevealBy JOE NOCERA Published: October 28, 2011
On Friday, the law firm of Steven J. Baum threw a Halloween party. The firm, which is located near Buffalo, is what is commonly referred to as a &#8220;foreclosure mill&#8221; firm, meaning it represents banks and mortgage servicers as they attempt to foreclose on homeowners and evict them from their homes.
Steven J. Baum is, in fact, the largest such firm in New York; it represents virtually all the giant mortgage lenders, including Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America and Wells Fargo.  The party is the firm&#8217;s big annual bash. Employees wear Halloween costumes to the office, where they party until around noon, and then return to work, still in costume.
I can&#8217;t tell you how people dressed for this year&#8217;s party, but I can tell you about last year&#8217;s.  That&#8217;s because a former employee of Steven J. Baum recently sent me snapshots of last year&#8217;s party.

This is one photo from the party. Here&#8217;s the columnist&#8217;s description:

Let me describe a few of the photos. In one, two Baum employees are dressed like homeless people. One is holding a bottle of liquor. The other has a sign around her neck that reads: &#8220;3rd party squatter. I lost my home and I was never served.&#8221; My source said that &#8220;I was never served&#8221; is meant to mock &#8220;the typical excuse&#8221; of the homeowner trying to evade a foreclosure proceeding.

Here are agents of the 1% mocking what the 99% are going through. Is this not class warfare? Why is it only class warfare when we call this out? When we suggest that maybe people losing their homes right and left is unconscionable, it&#8217;s somehow class warfare waged by the 99%. This kind of mockery goes on, Wall St. continues unregulated, and WE&#8217;RE the ones waging war. I beg to differ.

The epitome of heartlessness:

What the Costumes Reveal
By JOE NOCERA Published: October 28, 2011

On Friday, the law firm of Steven J. Baum threw a Halloween party. The firm, which is located near Buffalo, is what is commonly referred to as a “foreclosure mill” firm, meaning it represents banks and mortgage servicers as they attempt to foreclose on homeowners and evict them from their homes.

Steven J. Baum is, in fact, the largest such firm in New York; it represents virtually all the giant mortgage lenders, including Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America and Wells Fargo. The party is the firm’s big annual bash. Employees wear Halloween costumes to the office, where they party until around noon, and then return to work, still in costume.

I can’t tell you how people dressed for this year’s party, but I can tell you about last year’s. That’s because a former employee of Steven J. Baum recently sent me snapshots of last year’s party.

This is one photo from the party. Here’s the columnist’s description:

Let me describe a few of the photos. In one, two Baum employees are dressed like homeless people. One is holding a bottle of liquor. The other has a sign around her neck that reads: “3rd party squatter. I lost my home and I was never served.” My source said that “I was never served” is meant to mock “the typical excuse” of the homeowner trying to evade a foreclosure proceeding.

Here are agents of the 1% mocking what the 99% are going through. Is this not class warfare? Why is it only class warfare when we call this out? When we suggest that maybe people losing their homes right and left is unconscionable, it’s somehow class warfare waged by the 99%. This kind of mockery goes on, Wall St. continues unregulated, and WE’RE the ones waging war. I beg to differ.

(Source: The New York Times)

Filed under Occupy Wall Street New York Halloween politics foreclosure Steven J Baum Citigroup JPMorgan Chase Bank of America Wells Fargo fuckery 1% 99%