Cognitive Dissonance

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather boa!" - Allen Ginsberg

Posts tagged really?

47 notes

Yeah, so about that Third Eye Blind song…

Evidently Captain Obvious has begun writing listicles under the name Tony O’Neill because it’s pretty clear “Semi-Charmed Life” is about meth. In “10 songs with hidden drug references,” O’Neill writes:
“Few people realized back then that this relentlessly upbeat track was actually about crystal meth… But despite its chipper vibe, the references to ‘chopping lines’ and doing ‘bumps’ are there.”
NO NO NO. Nothing is hidden from you, bro. It’s in the middle of the goddamn song:

"The sky was gold, it was rose / I was taking sips of it through my nose / And I wish I could get back there, someplace back there / Smiling in the pictures you would take / Doing crystal meth, will lift you up until you break / It won’t stop, I won’t come down / I keep stock with the tick-tock rhythm, I bump for the drop / And then I bumped up, I took the hit that I was given / Then I bumped again, then I bumped again…”

Also included: “Mary Jane” by Rick James.REALLY?!And let’s not even discuss the appalling grammar in the Facebook post itself — “That awful Third Eye Blind song you couldn’t get out of our heads…” Excuse me, folks of Salon, but I did not fail to pry this particular ditty from your individual brains. YOU did. If it’s still stuck in your heads, don’t look to me for help. Listen to “Yellow Submarine” and take a nap or something. I know that editors are fallible and all, but damn.tl;dr version: This is lazy clickbait and it irritates me. At least put a little effort into it.

Yeah, so about that Third Eye Blind song…

Evidently Captain Obvious has begun writing listicles under the name Tony O’Neill because it’s pretty clear “Semi-Charmed Life” is about meth. In “10 songs with hidden drug references,” O’Neill writes:

“Few people realized back then that this relentlessly upbeat track was actually about crystal meth… But despite its chipper vibe, the references to ‘chopping lines’ and doing ‘bumps’ are there.”

NO NO NO. Nothing is hidden from you, bro. It’s in the middle of the goddamn song:

"The sky was gold, it was rose / I was taking sips of it through my nose / And I wish I could get back there, someplace back there / Smiling in the pictures you would take / Doing crystal meth, will lift you up until you break / It won’t stop, I won’t come down / I keep stock with the tick-tock rhythm, I bump for the drop / And then I bumped up, I took the hit that I was given / Then I bumped again, then I bumped again…”

Also included: “Mary Jane” by Rick James.

REALLY?!

And let’s not even discuss the appalling grammar in the Facebook post itself — “That awful Third Eye Blind song you couldn’t get out of our heads…” Excuse me, folks of Salon, but I did not fail to pry this particular ditty from your individual brains. YOU did. If it’s still stuck in your heads, don’t look to me for help. Listen to “Yellow Submarine” and take a nap or something. I know that editors are fallible and all, but damn.

tl;dr version: This is lazy clickbait and it irritates me. At least put a little effort into it.

Filed under salon clickbait third eye blind music songs about drugs really? semi-charmed life lazy journalism pop culture

162 notes

Being Privileged Is Not A Choice, So Stop Hating Me For It

There are some things I can’t abide today. This is one of them. This article is full of choice passages like this one: 

"I want to stop lying about the suits I buy for my internship. I want to stop saying they are hand me down’s from my cousin. I want to be able to say thank you when I receive a compliment on them. I was taught that you should always dress for the job you want, not the job you have. I want to be taken seriously at my internship and look professional—and I have the resources to buy nice-looking suits and have my hair professionally highlighted.

I’m tired of justifying my address and the backlash I receive when I tell people I am a student and live in a high-rise apartment. I’m tired of the looks my doorman gives me when he hands me my package (of work clothes) delivered from J.Crew.

So stop making me feel like I’ve done something wrong. Stop making me feel like I am less deserving. I didn’t ask to be born into this kind of circumstance and I’m tired of being judged for it.”

Does she seriously not understand how much she is flaunting her privilege with this post? If this is how she talks to the poors in person, perhaps there’s a different reason people think she’s insufferable. Maybe it’s not the wealth. Maybe it’s regaling others with stories about how uncomfortable you feel making eye contact with your doorman when he brings you your packages of (work clothes) from J. Crew. And maybe your doorman gave you the stink eye because you didn’t tip like a lot of privileged douchecanoes. 

I went shopping for (work clothes) at the thrift store. So thanks for implying that I’m somehow less than you because I’m not looking “professional” like you. 

And the next time someone gives you a compliment? Just say “thank you” like you want. People don’t care where your suit came from unless they said, “Nice suit. Where did you get it?” Trust me, no one is expending that much mental energy worrying about where you — you special little snowflake, you — got your hair done or your suit. You are not the center of the universe.

Let’s pretend for a second you’re right, even though you’re not. Everyone is critiquing you on whether or not you are dressing for the job you want. Good news, snowflake! If you fail that critique, well, you can always order another round from your pal, J. Crew. Those of us without said resources get judged, too, and there isn’t a goddamn thing we can do about it except pretend it isn’t happening, smile, and move on. Because if someone is judging us for last season’s suit, there’s no way to fix that when the electric bill is overdue and the cupboards are empty.

I just can’t with this shit. Your parents worked hard. Good for them! Mine worked hard too, and they’re living on social security and a pension. Plenty of people are working hard RIGHT NOW and aren’t even able to put food on the table, i.e. a good portion of SNAP recipients who have full time jobs. 

The tl;dr version? Maybe it’s not all of us. Maybe it’s you. And that’s the ultimate privilege — not having to look in the goddamn mirror and see what inane vanity it’s reflecting back.

Filed under privilege I can't wealth culture really? rich poor little rich girl whine money

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USA Today, that bastion of hard-hitting investigative journalism typically found outside your hotel room door, has reached a new apex by covering some drunken twit’s tweet as newsworthy. However, that’s not the true glory of this blurb.
The second sentence sets a new high for lows in national media: “That’s like in the coma and death range levels of ethanol in her blood.” Read it out loud. It’s the dreaded “like” filler appearing IN WRITING. Really?
What’s next? I predict headlines reading “OMG MILEY UR SO CRAY!”

USA Today, that bastion of hard-hitting investigative journalism typically found outside your hotel room door, has reached a new apex by covering some drunken twit’s tweet as newsworthy. However, that’s not the true glory of this blurb.

The second sentence sets a new high for lows in national media: “That’s like in the coma and death range levels of ethanol in her blood.” Read it out loud. It’s the dreaded “like” filler appearing IN WRITING. Really?

What’s next? I predict headlines reading “OMG MILEY UR SO CRAY!”

Filed under smh media USA Today really? grammar i can't

59 notes

Impeach Obama Rally Scheduled For August 2nd In Casper

Goddammit, Wyoming. Really? The journalism here AND the protest just kills me…

Filed under Obama Wyoming Casper Really? politics protest news

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For hundreds of years, repetition of the word accompanied atrocities, first at the end of a whip and worse, and later the end of a rope, and still later the threshold of schools and lunch counters, as a means to literally keep black people in their place. It is white privilege that allows someone like Bill Maher not to know, or care, about that difference, and simply view this as a “bad word.” It’s the same white privilege that won’t let him understand that after generations of suffering and struggle, it might not be amusing, to some people, for him to cast the first black president as a stereotypical criminal street thug.

Paula Deen’s sins spring from an even deeper well of white privilege than that. If all she had done was admit to saying the n-word, she’d just be a more honest version of every white person in America, or at least everyone my age and older. Hell, I used it a few paragraphs ago. In her deposition, though, Deen made a distinction between use of the word in a “mean way,” versus acceptable uses, like in jokes, or in relaying conversations between black people. Her attitude seems to be that of a willingness to refrain from using the word out of sensitivity to changing times, not out of an understanding of its inherent evil. It’s an attitude that a lot of white people share, with varying degrees of begrudgement, that they’re doing black people a solid by not using it…

See, to Paula Deen, the slavery part was incidental to her appreciation for that scene. The aesthetic that she enjoyed was centered around her own experience of living in the South. That’s the essence of white privilege, the ability to just adore the crisp “professionalism” of these men and women, without a thought for the price of that comforting visual. She didn’t like the slavery, she just liked the way it looked. This is the same attitude that lets some people defend the Confederate flag with that “Heritage, Not Hate” garbage, as if there is any way of separating the two.

Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher throws down on why what Paula Deen did goes beyond saying “a bad word,” and how unsettling it truly is that she seems unable to appreciate or understand why what she did should rightly be condemned. 

And it’s not just a wealthy white lady in Georgia who drinks butter and believes racism isn’t really a thing any longer — for bonus points, check out Racialicious’ brilliant cataloging of hipster, liberal racism/sexism

Filed under racism Paula Deen race Tommy Christopher Mediaite Social media hipster racism Southern racism the n-word really? white privilege privelege

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Undersheriff Ryan Lee said this morning the Fremont County 911 Center received a call from a resident on Firethorn Lane north of Riverton Tuesday at 7:56 p.m. reporting the following:

‘A female subject at the home was possessed by a “poltergeist” and had stopped breathing after she was sprayed with Holy water. Other occupants of the home then attempted to perform an exorcism at which time they reported the exorcism activity caused the female to go in to cardiac arrest. Upon arrival the female subject was found to be breathing, but she was taken by ambulance to the Riverton Hospital for unknown reasons. She was in stable condition when she arrived at the hospital. The occupants of the residence stated that a demon had been in the home breaking windows and dishes, as well as biting the occupants of the home for the last two days; they asked a Deputy Sheriff to look into the matter. The Deputy was unable to substantiate any criminal activity or that anyone had been bitten.’ The woman was identified as a 31-year-old Riverton resident.

Bless Wyoming arrest reports from Riverton, Wyo.

When I was doing stand-up in Colorado, people thought I was exaggerating Wyoming fuckery to be funny. Nope. Please see above.

tl;dr version: Meth is a hell of a drug.

Filed under Wyoming Wyoming is weird Riverton ghosts poltergeist really?

51 notes

My friends are fellow psychology grads.

Texts I just received over the course of 2 hours:

"Dude I wanna get drunk enough to experience impairment of fine motor skills but not gross motor skills because I have to walk home."

"You should come and if you don’t I’ll hold my breath til I die"

"That was very regressive of me. But I’m putting you in the outgroup if you just drink alone tonight."

"MY PREFRONTAL CORTEX IS GETTING POISONED!"

Filed under wtf really?

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Todd Starnes: And yet, there seems to be this opinion on the other side that says, you know what, you and I don’t deserve the same rights. You know, it’s as if we’re second-class citizens now because we support the traditional, Biblical definition of marriage, or perhaps we are pro-life, and that means we’re somehow second-class citizens who don’t deserve to be in the public marketplace of ideas.

Sandy Rios: Absolutely. In fact, it’ll be worse than that. You know there’s going to be punishment. There will be tremendous punishment. If gay marriage is embraced by the country, if the Supreme Court goes south this week in its hearings, we are in for – of course, we’re not going to hear about it until June – but we are in for persecution like we have never seen it.

Starnes: Well, it’s already started.

Fox News Radio’s Todd Starnes and American Family Radio’s Sandy Rios displaying a jaw-dropping lack of awareness when discussing marriage equality.

I nearly choked on my goddamn coffee when I heard this fuckery come out of their mouths. Let’s just hit the basic point: EVERY bill passed for marriage equality has a religious exemption. Period.

And clergy have every right to refuse to marry anyone. Don’t believe me? Go to a Catholic priest, demand he marry you and your significant other on the spot, and mention that neither of you is Catholic, but he just HAS to do it. Hint: He won’t.

P.S. — If you want to uphold “traditional, Biblical” definitions of marriage and think it’s one man and one woman, you clearly didn’t read that book closely.

I just can’t with some people…

Filed under Todd Starnes Sandy Rios lgbtq politics Fox News American Family Radio wait Really? I can't marriage equality u.s. supreme court scotus

520 notes

Fox "News" Claims that Algebra Classes Are a Conspiracy of Liberal Indoctrination

They’re trolling us now, right? RIGHT?

"But even worse is the way some textbooks are pushing the liberal agenda," Fox News host [Eric Bolling] explained, pointing to an algebra worksheet that Scholastic says gives students "[i]nsight into the distributive property as it applies to multiplication."

"Distribute the wealth!" Bolling exclaimed, reading the worksheet. "Distribute the wealth with the lovely rich girl with a big ole bag of money, handing some money out." Co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle explained that the algebra worksheet had put her on "high alert" for the liberal agenda in her 6-year-old son’s curriculum.

DISTRIBUTING THE WEALTH? Oh, it’s just a math lesson though… taught by leftist indoctrination centers!

image

For the record, here’s the worksheet. So if it were apples and a first grade class, would it then be teaching them to rely on handouts for food like FOOD STAMPS OMG instead of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps? 

Here’s a Fox News math lesson:

Teacher: “If I have three apples, and I give Jimmy one apple, how many do I have left?”
Eric Bolling: “Why doesn’t Jimmy have his own apples? Why can’t he be responsible for himself?”
Kimberly Guilfoyle: “YEAH! He should bring his own!”
Teacher: “It’s just an example, folks. He uh, didn’t have one because his parents were out. Now let’s continue with —”
Dana Perino: "— Why don’t they have apples? Because they spent all their welfare on DRUGS and now JIMMMY expects a HANDOUT?!"
Teacher: ”*sigh* Class dismissed…”
Greg Gutfield: “Oh, now you’re starting a leftist ‘class war’ and saying we shouldn’t have class? MARXIST!”

Yep, that’s exactly how it would go.

Filed under math fox news Really? Politics I can't algebra liberal indoctrination for fuck's sake Eric Bolling education Fox Dana Perino

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You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…

Sent to me by Sarah R. who writes: “This picture is all over the Facebooks of my conservative relatives. It’s now my uncle’s profile picture, replacing the one that was a spilt screen between 9/11 in NYC and 9/11 in Benghazi, with a photoshopped bored looking Barack Obama in the middle (stupid, I know). Twinkies knocked out 9/11 in my uncle’s mind. WTF!!???”

Hey, how about the 18,000+ jobs lost due to persistent financial mismanagement and raises in CEO pay even though company performance was down? How about exorbitant demands on the part of hedge funds that workers concede more and more, and management less and less? Never forget, indeed.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…

Sent to me by Sarah R. who writes: “This picture is all over the Facebooks of my conservative relatives. It’s now my uncle’s profile picture, replacing the one that was a spilt screen between 9/11 in NYC and 9/11 in Benghazi, with a photoshopped bored looking Barack Obama in the middle (stupid, I know). Twinkies knocked out 9/11 in my uncle’s mind. WTF!!???”

Hey, how about the 18,000+ jobs lost due to persistent financial mismanagement and raises in CEO pay even though company performance was down? How about exorbitant demands on the part of hedge funds that workers concede more and more, and management less and less? Never forget, indeed.

Filed under twinkies hostess organized labor really? politics economy i can't

77 notes

Senate Candidate Slammed for 'Bizarre Double Life' as Orc Assassination Rogue in World of Warcraft

Yes, this is a thing:

Maine State Senate candidate Colleen Lachowicz may seem like a sweet social worker, but in her spare time, she’s a stab-happy green-skinned monster named Santiaga.

The fact that Santiaga only exists in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft is of little consequence to the Maine Republican Party, who are attacking Lachowicz for her level-85 orc assassination rogue character, as well as inflammatory remarks she’s made on online message boards. The site ColleensWorld.com — which has to be one of the first of its kind — takes the candidate to task for living in an “online fantasy world.”

Apparently, nothing you do online is safe. NOTHING. God help me if the GOP finds out about the Sim I made of Mitt Romney. Next, we’ll find out a Maine Democrat listens to that demonic rock and/or roll music.

The GOP is largely living in a fantasy world these days, so I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised. The site itself is juvenile, with Lachowicz’s face morphing into that of her character on a GIF loop. Her statement on this matter is great:

What’s really weird is that the Republicans are going after my hobbies instead of talking about their record while they’ve been running Augusta for the last two years. Instead of talking about what they’re doing for Maine people, they’re making fun of me for playing video games. Did you know that more people over the age of 50 play video games than under the age of 18? As a gamer, I’m in good company with folks Jodie Foster, Vin Diesel, Mike Myers, and Robin Williams. Maybe it’s the Republican Party that is out of touch.

I can get behind that.

Filed under Colleen Lachowicz Maine politics WoW World of Warcraft Democrat Republican really? GOP seriously