Posts tagged republican
Posts tagged republican
And yet we all still lost.
Welfare cowboy Cliven Bundy’s failed last stand isn’t the only thing making Nevadans blush this week.
Gov. Brian Sandoval (R-Nev.) recently issued a proclamation designating this week “state employees week” — usually, no big deal, governors issue things like this all the time. However, the proclaimation misspelled the word “cultural” in describing the work state employees do to protect “cultural resources.”
The proclamation extolled the hard work of state employees in conserving and preserving “clitorial resources” in Nevada. Perhaps he was just courting the vote of those who have a clitoris?
Oops. Spell-check AND copyediting are crucial, kids. If the governor needs a copy-editor, simianhighway might be available.
A GOP state senator in Colorado says it was “a good thing” that Aurora killer James Holmes had 100-round magazine. Bernie Herpin, a state senator elected in the wake of gun control laws that spurred the recall of several Democratic senators, made the comments in support of his bill to overturn Colorado’s ban on extended magazines and drums like the one James Holmes used to kill and maim over 70 people.
But it’s apparently a “good thing” he had it.
What a disgusting, heinous person.
From anti-gay slurs to threatening journalists, here’s the 10 of the biggest GOP rebranding roadblocks.
Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky. asking his fans to add him on Snapchat.
With Paul’s staffing history, I can see this going terribly wrong. And I’m not sure, but it might be some kind of violation of federal law to send unsolicited dick pics to a U.S. Senator. I’ll be curious to see how this plays out and if anyone actually adds him.
Facebook post here: https://facebook.com/RandPaul/posts/10152022425591107
What happens when you mistake satire for real news? Headlines like the one above!
Remember Colorado State Sen. Vickie Marble? You last saw her claiming poverty was higher among those in the “black race” because they eat too much fried chicken.
Yeah. Her. She’s still in office.
Anyhow, she and the Douglas County Republican Party were duped by a satire site into believing Colorado food stamp recipients were using their benefits to buy pot. In her role as state senator, she filed a bill to stop it.
In this new campaign ad, creatively titled “Daughters,” Liz Cheney’s daughters talk about their family’s “deep roots” in the state that their mother left during junior high school and returned to last year to run for Senate. She is totally a Wyoming … what is the word you people say… “gal.” Through and through. Her papa, Dick “Papa Dik” Cheney, lived there oncet, and even represented the state in Congress. In the last century. Also, pay no attention to their Aunt Mary and her heathen Virginia ways.
Oh, and what’s this I hear today? Liz Cheney’s hubby committing VOTER FRAUD in Wyoming? I’m not sure the tighty-righties will actually care, given that there’s no ACORN in sight - just a bunch of nuts. But say it ain’t so, Darth Lizzy.
Well, gee whiz. It’s so.
First off, one of these things is not like the others — Rob Ford is a conservative through and through. Also, Barack Obama and Tim Bishop have not admitted to smoking crack in a self-described “drunken stupor.”
And this guy KNOWS Toronto isn’t a part of the US, right? Not unless this is a launch of his “Annex ‘Merica’s Hat” plan…
Official memo from The White House Office of Management and Budget, which has directed government agencies to officially shut down non-essential services at midnight.
At 11:59 PM EDT, the government shut down because the Republicans do not like a law passed three years ago by a congressional majority, under a president re-elected by a majority of electoral college votes and the people of the U.S., and which has the public support of a majority of Americans. And they do this because they claim the people have spoken. We’re MAKING them drive off this cliff, they’re screaming, “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE US DO!” — all because we won’t negotiate with economic terrorists.
NEWSFLASH: The people spoke in 2012, with the re-election of the president. They did when the Affordable Care Act passed in Congress.
And they will when all of you in the U.S. House come up for election in 2014.
House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) said Monday that the House would not accept a “clean” continuing resolution to fund the government — a bill without language defunding or delaying Obamacare already passed by the Senate — making the prospect of a shutdown almost certain to transpire come midnight. “That’s not going to happen,” Boehner told a reporter at a press conference on Capitol Hill. The Senate rejected the House GOP’s amendments to a government funding bill by a party line vote earlier Monday. House Republicans are now moving to pass a bill funding the government that would also delay the law’s individual mandate and cancel health-insurance subsidies for members of Congress. Senate Democrats have already said this measure, too, would be a non-starter, and it remains to be seen whether the most conservative members of the Republican conference would even support it. Boehner, however, sounded an optimistic note. “We’re confident that this issue will pass,” he added. As Republicans sought a way forward Monday afternoon, House Democrats piled on, offering to provide Boehner the necessary votes to pass a continuing resolution that maintained across-the-board sequestration budget cuts so long as it excluded the Affordable Care Act.
tl;dr: Republicans will shoot the hostage, and they want us to be okay with that.
.@SenMikeLee #YourMove pic.twitter.com/d9UNzKTPAK â Senator Ted Cruz (@SenTedCruz) September 28, 2013
ARRRGGHHH! This hurts. Can this guy not be accurate on ANYTHING?
Jerry wants you kids to get off your “parent’s” plan.
And probably his lawn. By God, he had Bootstraps™ at 18 — which, by the way, was 50 years ago.
I bet the world’s changed a tick since.
Let me fix that for you:
“I do not like them on a boat.
I do not like them in a moat.
Please do not make me help a poor.
I cannot stand them any more.
I care not if they fall sick
I care not since I’m a dick.
Poors also shall not eat.
The poors shall not have meat.”
You know that jokey little joke bit of strategery some of us around here like to throw out whenever Obamz&Co come up with any kind of offering of opinion, or God forbid actual policy, and then are arbitrarily screamed at for being commie-fascist-welfare-taxer-Muslim-brothers-from-the-hood, no matter what the opinion was? We jokesters often like to posit that in response the prez should maybe come out in support of Republican ideas, like having another war (so close) or aborting things, or cuttin’ all these rich people’s taxes more than the less than zero they kinda pay now, or maybe just go ahead and kill Obamacare his ownself? And then maybe these haters of all things Oblackma would act like they have always been for taxing billionaires to pay for our abortion wars and we could get something done as a nation already?
Oh we have made ourselves laugh. But we are now thinking that mayhaps we were really and truly on to something? Because all Michelle Obama had to do was go out and tell some kid-folks that they should drink more water, and BAM! Water is now junk science (just like global warming) and no you should not drink it especially if she says so.
Here’s the tl;dr version:
Michelle Obama: “Hey folks, replace one sody-pop with water because that’s healthy!”
Conservatives: “FUCK YOUR PINKO WATER, COMMIE! P.S. Hey you poors — no fizz for you, you still can’t have nice things. Because poor.”
There’s some days I’m convinced we’re all being trolled. This is one of those days. Here’s exactly what I pictured: